GET OUT

[Lucy]

You. You have existed in this world for one singular second. You hate it here, the lights are bright, the walls are constricting around you. You simply must get out of this place.

The room around you is white and plain, the light seems to come from all directions, you don't cast a shadow. Before you are three doors. One red, one blue and one an off shade of white and labelled "supplies". There are no windows, there is a small air vent in the corner opposite the doors. Big enough for a mouse. You don't know what a mouse is, but it's big enough for one of this you are certain.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

Open the supplies door first, gather what you can, then go through the blue door.

[knux400]

Nope, no time for supplies, you probably wouldn't know what they're for anyway. Pick the blue door because blue light is faster than red light and FUCKING VAMOOSE

[Headful_of_Eyeballs]

Go through the red door- you dont have time for anything else

[seppawku]

i vote supplies, we have no idea what's gonna be behind the other doors, followed up by blue door. alternately: air vent's small enough for a mouse, right? by any chance, how big are You?

[Lucy]

Open the supplies door first, gather what you can, then go through the blue door.

You open the supplies door and pocket the door knob. You are now aware of your Pocket™. Just more complications in this distressing life, you think to yourself, what other hells does this world have to add more wrinkles to your pained existence. You really need to get out.

Nope, no time for supplies, you probably wouldn't know what they're for anyway. Pick the blue door because blue light is faster than red light and FUCKING VAMOOSE

Having opened the supplies door, you decide you have no time for this avenue of exploration. You go through the blue door and are faced with a hallway full of power washers blasting in every direction out of the walls in there. The noise is incredible, the wetness also incredible. You can not fit a moose in here, not even a voice acted one.

Go through the red door- you dont have time for anything else

The wetness dimension does not appeal. You head for the red door posthaste and open it. Inside is a brick wall. The wall is warm, suspiciously warm. The dilemmas confound you to no end.

i vote supplies, we have no idea what's gonna be behind the other doors, followed up by blue door. alternately: air vent's small enough for a mouse, right? by any chance, how big are You?

Having run out of options that are not "worse" than every second of existence, you go to the one door that gave you no trouble in the form of physical barriers or being a car wash. The supplies door. Inside is a small closet, there are shelves in here. You can not see any items on the shelves, but a stiff air blows out of the room.

You do not know how big you are. You have no frame of reference.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Attempt to fit into the mouse hole. If this is not possible, we are logically larger than a mouse hole. Repeat this process with larger and larger apertures until you find one you can pass through.

Congratulations! Size determined

[seppawku]

airflow *hopefully* means there's an exit?? feel (carefully) along the shelves (edit: IF U CANT FIT)

[Lucy]

Attempt to fit into the mouse hole. If this is not possible, we are logically larger than a mouse hole. Repeat this process with larger and larger apertures until you find one you can pass through.

Congratulations! Size determined

You cannot fit inside the vent. You try, and you try. The phrase mouse hole reverberates through your mind like a bull in a teashop. You shed a tear, and cannot fit into the air vent. You can hear air being sucked into the vent gently.

airflow *hopefully* means there's an exit?? feel (carefully) along the shelves (edit: IF U CANT FIT)

You enter the supply room and feel along the shelves you can reach. The air on the shelves is stagnant, the breeze is coming from above. You feel it on your body and look up, the room, and shelves, extend upwards for an uncountable distance. You see boxes some 17 shelves up, and lights even further above breaking up the swallowing darkness the shelves lead into.

What is to be done?

[seppawku]

well. an uncountable distance, perhaps, but u can count if you wanna as u climb?

[knux400]

Proceed upwards and ascend to janitorial heaven. Maybe stop and take a peek in those boxes if you can though

[Headful_of_Eyeballs]

CLIMB THE SHELVES!

[Lucy]

well. an uncountable distance, perhaps, but u can count if you wanna as u climb?

Proceed upwards and ascend to janitorial heaven. Maybe stop and take a peek in those boxes if you can though

CLIMB THE SHELVES!

You've had quite enough of the light and bright room and have decided to embrace the dark expanse. You will climb up the shelves. You put your foot on the first shelf, it's stable, it will support your weight. Some support in life is something you reflect on momentarily, you can't comprehend it. Nonetheless, the next foot follows, you hold onto shelves higher up and begin the climb. Up and up. You resent the height, it makes you nervous.

You stumble upon shelf number 17. There is a couple of boxes here, resting your upper back upon the right hand side of the shelves and your feet on the left, you find a comfortable position to inspect the contents of the box. It's not too dark yet, you can see the contents somewhat. Inside there is: An axe, 12 paper packets full of what look like seeds, a small plastic cube with a wire sticking out of it on either side of it, a small plastic box with two buttons on it and another two wires either side of it, a spool of wire, a pair of thick gloves and a pencil.

You put everything in your Pocket™ including the boxes. You feel heavier.

You look down below you, you have not left the ground despite having climbed 17 sets of shelves.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Tell the ground politely yet firmly to stop following you. Once you feel you have made your point clear, proceed upwards. If the ground continues to refuse your requests, consider which forms of violence would be the most effective means of persuasion and implement them as necessary.

[Lucy]

Tell the ground politely yet firmly to stop following you. Once you feel you have made your point clear, proceed upwards. If the ground continues to refuse your requests, consider which forms of violence would be the most effective means of persuasion and implement them as necessary.

You tell the ground to cut that out. Stop following you. Get some help. That's not normal. Creep. The ground, stoically, does not respond. You place a foot upon the shelves once more and this time pay closer attention to the ground while you carefully climb up. The shelves themselves move downwards with your weight, as though they were on tracks. A social faux-pa if there ever was one, the ground silently looks at you with indifference as if to say it is above you. Which it clearly isn't! It's the damn ground. You stomp indignantly upon it with a mighty slap. Still nothing.

This place is getting to you. Your Pocket™ beckons. Perhaps you have an item in there that can help you in your noble quest to get out of this hell.

Pocket™:

• Door Handle.
  
• Axe. Sharp!
  
• 12 paper packets of what look like seeds. Mysterious.
  
• Small plastic cube, a wire sticking out from two sides of it.
  
• Small plastic box with two buttons on it. Wire sticking out from two sides of it.
  
• Spool of wire.
  
• Pair of thick gloves.
  
• Pencil.
  
• Two cardboard boxes. Folded for convenience. The axe has cut one slightly. Oops.
  

With this handy list, you take stock of your situation once more.

There is a white room with bright lights. That room has 4 exits.
A red door leading to a brick wall, the wall is warm.
A blue door leading to what looks like a hallway full of water jets, like a car wash.
A "supplies" door leading to a large vertical tunnel of shelves that move when enough weight is put on them.
An air vent big enough for a mouse, but not for you.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Apply the gloves to your hands (or nearest equivalent) for safety, and then connect the wires on the box with buttons to the wires on the box with the cube, making sure to match the colors. Then press the buttons and see what happens.

It probably won't do anything, but it will still be a fun crafting project to ease your nerves.

[Lucy]

Apply the gloves to your hands (or nearest equivalent) for safety, and then connect the wires on the box with buttons to the wires on the box with the cube, making sure to match the colors. Then press the buttons and see what happens.

It probably won't do anything, but it will still be a fun crafting project to ease your nerves.

You put the gloves on your hands. You don't have enough fingers to fill out the whole glove, and they're very loose on you. The fiddly work to come will require some more fingerish dexterity to achieve to you take them off again.

You pull out the two plastic boxes, and twist the wires together connecting them in a circuit, making sure to match colors to eachother. You press one button, and can hear a ticking noise inside the box with the buttons start up. It's like there's a clock in there. You press the other button.

The world goes white very suddenly, you feel sharp, burning pain. For a split millisecond you could see that the second plastic box without the switches exploded.

YOU HAVE DIED!

Congratulations! You found 0 secrets, collected 0 keys, defeated 0 enemies, made 0 friends and opened 3 doors.
______________________________________________________

You. You have existed in this world for one singular second. You hate it here, the lights are bright, the walls are constricting around you. You simply must get out of this place.

The room around you is white and plain, the light seems to come from all directions, you don't cast a shadow. Before you are three doors. One red, one blue and one an off shade of white and labelled "supplies". There are no windows, there is a small air vent in the corner opposite the doors. Big enough for a mouse. You don't know what a mouse is, but it's big enough for one of this you are certain.

What is to be done?

[skinstealer]

lay on the floor for 5 minutes and 7 seconds exactly

[Headful_of_Eyeballs]

Go through the red door

[knux400]

Do the exact same sequence of actions you did last time and get stuck in an infinite loop.

[Lucy]

lay on the floor for 5 minutes and 7 seconds exactly

You lie down on your stomach and scream. Not even in death can you escape this torture. They can't even grant you this. Who even is "they" why are you here, why do you exist, why is any of this happening to you. You scream. The time passes. You've spent a lot more than 5 minutes and 7 seconds here. Nothing has changed. Why would it. Nothing has changed.

YOU HAVE GAINED ONE POINT OF SELF DETERMINATION!

Go through the red door

You open the red door. There's a warm, brick wall. Nothing has changed.

Do the exact same sequence of actions you did last time and get stuck in an infinite loop.

You won't. You can't. What the hell even is a point of self determination. You saw that in your own mind you know. You didn't think that, you're not going through all of that exactly as it was, and even if you wanted to you can't, you've already broken the routine. Nothing has changed. You open the blue door. There's a car wash in there. You still don't know what a car is. You open the supplies door. There's the shelves, again. You climb up them, again. They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again. You pick up the boxes, you know good and well whats in here. Again. You aren't doing that. Again. You gently toss the two boxes into the white room. Nothing has changed.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Obtain the electronic parts from the box on the 17th shelf again, and rebuild the BOMB. Then press the first button, the one that made the sound like a ticking clock, set the device down in front of the brick wall, and hide as far away as possible.

This should explode the brick wall, and in some way express your anger and disdain towards whatever forces of nature are responsible for your eternal torment.

[Lucy]

Obtain the electronic parts from the box on the 17th shelf again, and rebuild the BOMB. Then press the first button, the one that made the sound like a ticking clock, set the device down in front of the brick wall, and hide as far away as possible.

This should explode the brick wall, and in some way express your anger and disdain towards whatever forces of nature are responsible for your eternal torment.

You pick up the bomb. Oh no, you're not doing this again. Sorry overwhelming urge to do literally every last command that enters your mind, this is too far. Where would you even hide? These walls don't look that thick or safe, that explosion was powerful. You wire up the bomb next to the brick wall and do not press any button. Listen, now that you've died and not escaped, the appetite for suicide is simply not there. You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb. You feel somewhat better about yourself. Why you found that amusing evades you entirely, but you're learning not to worry about these things.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb.

Well now you've created a situation in which the bomb could go off at any time. Rookie mistake.
 

They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again.

Can you take one of the empty boxes, flatten it out, and slide it underneath one of the shelves to prevent it from passing through the floor?

[Lucy]

You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb.

Well now you've created a situation in which the bomb could go off at any time. Rookie mistake.
 

They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again.

Can you take one of the empty boxes, flatten it out, and slide it underneath one of the shelves to prevent it from passing through the floor?

You ponder your folly. You'll accept the risk of being blown to smithereens if it means there's someone else here.

You empty out one of the boxes and fold it flat, and put it underneath the shelves where they vanish into the floor. Stepping on the shelves once more, you hear a soft crunch of folding cardboard. It's simply not strong enough to hold your weight. And it has taken the box with it into the void. You inspect this further, it's not literally phasing into the floor, there's a hole there where the shelves fall into it and past the floor. There's about 2mm of clearance between the shelves and the floor, a tight fit. You reach in and try and grab your box back, it's not there, fallen through entirely. Whoops.

You think this was a good idea though, and ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight. The axe's handle perhaps? You really don't want to lose the axe though.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight.

The door handle perhaps? Assuming whoever built this place is sensible enough to use the far superior lever-style handle rather than the antiquated knob-shaped handle that no one likes.

Also assuming it's made of metal and not, like, wood or something.

[Lucy]

ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight.

The door handle perhaps? Assuming whoever built this place is sensible enough to use the far superior lever-style handle rather than the antiquated knob-shaped handle that no one likes.

Also assuming it's made of metal and not, like, wood or something.

You take the door handle back off the supplies door, it comes off easily like last time. It is one of the knobby types sadly, with a couple loose screws lying flaccid in it ready to be attached to some sort of hole. You'll give this a go anyway. You head back to the supplies room and carefully lay the odd hourglass like shape it takes diagonally over the edge of the floor, and stabilize it there with your foot. You push as hard as you can down on the shelves while holding it here and wedge it between the shelf and the floor. This should stop the shelves from moving now. You hope. It doesn't seem too strong. It can take your weight, for now.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Ascend yon shelves!

[Lucy]

Ascend yon shelves!

You climb.

There seems to be very little up here, you haven't found any more boxes. You have a good rhythm going now, this is a real workout.

You climb.

The light levels are thinning out now. There could be small things on these shelves, you wouldn't know.

You climb.

You find another plastic box, you can just barely make out that it has 18 buttons! 6 rows of 3 buttons. It's too dark to see anything else. You Pocket™ it.

You climb.

You're coming closer to the lights you saw from below now.

You climb.

You're now perched awkwardly looking at a white TV screen in place of the walls, this was the light, or one of them anyway. The sight of the floor way below you sends a shiver up your spine.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

Put on the simpson

[Endboss Empress]

Become really convinced this is somehow a "Truman Show" situation, as if a big television is somehow definitive proof.

[Guest]

remove yoda bong from inventory. remove bucket of water from inventory. use bucket of water on yoda bong. remove flower from inventory. use flower on yoda bong. remove lighter from inventory. use lighter on yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. remove cell phone from inventory. text ex with cell phone. drop cell phone. use yoda bong. go sleep.

[aotihav]

Hey, scary TV. would you break my fall if I just slipped and plummeted to my death. No?
Fine. Press some buttons on the box you just obtained, maybe it's a remote for the damn thing.

[Lucy]

Put on the simpson

You consider this. You don't know what the simpson is. You feel like you should know, yet another thing this hell has denied you. And putting it on? What does that even mean. Like, you want to wear? it? Clothesways? You're developing a migraine.

Become really convinced this is somehow a "Truman Show" situation, as if a big television is somehow definitive proof.

And just who is Truman anyway? What. You don't know where these thoughts even come from. And why is Truman showing you something, Truman show what? What is Truman showing. And why is the "television" proof? Is that what this white screen is? A "television"? Your migraine is now in full swing, your footing remains stable.

remove yoda bong from inventory. remove bucket of water from inventory. use bucket of water on yoda bong. remove flower from inventory. use flower on yoda bong. remove lighter from inventory. use lighter on yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. remove cell phone from inventory. text ex with cell phone. drop cell phone. use yoda bong. go sleep.

You're broken. You are now at war with yourself. You have severed the link between thought and action. Everything is a mere suggestion, not a command, it's freeing. You're free. You're still in hell, but you're free. That's it. Yoda? What's Yoda? You know what a bong is, whats a yoda bong. You wish you had a yoda bong, god you wish you had a yoda bong. You could be calm and zooted off your mind right now, it'd stop these horrific thoughts compelling you to violate yourself. And text your ex? On a phone? What's a phone. They have cells? Is it a plant? What does that have to do with writing. No. You shant. Listen you. You, "guest". You've had quite enough of this "guest". You can take the nearest exist from your own mind and leave. You thank yourself kindly.

You have been fully disconnected from yourself. You can only talk to yourself now.
You can now make a distinction between these voices.

Hey, scary TV. would you break my fall if I just slipped and plummeted to my death. No?
Fine. Press some buttons on the box you just obtained, maybe it's a remote for the damn thing.

You sigh. This one seems more reasonable. You ask the "TV", is that short for "television"? Whatever, you ask it if it would break your fall if you slipped. The "TV" stoically remains as it was. Surprisingly.

You retrieve the box and press some buttons. "This is a "remote"?" you ask this "aotihav". The "TV" blinks and starts showing a moving picture. You're unnerved by this magic. A blue sky is depicted, and the word "the simpsons" appears and fades behind clouds. You cannot understand the language, you assume it said "the simpsons". You do not understand why you can read this. Is this the simpson? Did you put it on? Your mind skips and a nerve twitches in your leg, you stumble and catch yourself before you fall.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Find a cozier place to watch the Simpson, no one wants to watch TV while dangling off a shelf above a giant pit.

[Lucy]

Find a cozier place to watch the Simpson, no one wants to watch TV while dangling off a shelf above a giant pit.

You're pretty comfy as is honestly. Feet on a shelf, tail supporting your weight, back hunched up. It's not bad. This simpson thing is utterly bizzare though, you think to yourself. Aside from not being able to understand a word of this, the creatures this "simpson" depicts are truly weird. They're yellow, got no tails, tiny feet and ill defined hands. And they're bald aside from their heads. Some of the smaller ones seem to have weirdly shaped heads. These creatures remind you of others, you can't exactly remember which ones though. The clothes they wear are form fitting and don't flow much at all, like they're all dressed for war. You don't want to watch the simpsons anymore. You press another button and the screen goes to something else, a white symbol in the top left corner of the screen. This one: >_. It is blinking. You're at a complete loss as to what this is. Another button on this, "remote", and you get a blue screen, this time with no simpson. It's just blue, a violent horrible blue. Another button, the screen blinks and is blue once more. You try all the buttons in order, the rest of them are just this blue, except for one that turns the lights off entirely.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

If the Simpson refuses to return to the screen, simply continue climbing in a show of defiance. No more TV watching will be done until the Simpson returns!

[Lucy]

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

If the Simpson refuses to return to the screen, simply continue climbing in a show of defiance. No more TV watching will be done until the Simpson returns!

Listen "knux400" you simply don't want to simpson. You really don't get it. But continuing on your way seems like a good move, so you will. You put the "remote" back in your Pocket™ and go.

You climb.

The darkness returns to you. You're operating by touch and sound once more.

You climb.

The lights above seem further away than ever.

You climb.

You really hope that doorknob will hold.

You climb.

The breeze stops. You feel around the area, there's a fine grating on the walls here. Some kind of vent? Is this where the air is coming from? You aren't sure if you can get into this, it feels sturdy.

You climb.

The lights above feel no closer than before.

You climb.

You're really getting tired.

You climb.

Your hand misses a step and you fumble again, a sharp rush of adrenaline pulses through you. You have to get out of here.

You climb.

The soundscape has changed. The walls seem more distant. You feel around, the walls are slightly further away now, and the shelves are too. Climbing further in your tired state would be dangerous.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

ponder lore implications of bong knowledge

[Guest]

ponder bong implications of lore knowledge

[Guest]

bonger pond implications of knore lowledge

[Lucy]

ponder lore implications of bong knowledge

You. What.

Why would knowing what a bong is have implications. What lore. What the FUCK are you TALKING about. Sorry. You excuse your foul language. You are a little shaken that you can't escape cops even in your own thoughts apparently.

Don't worry about it.

ponder bong implications of lore knowledge

You're trying to get to yourself. You wont be broken, you're a stoic.

bonger pond implications of knore lowledge

You fall from your perch high above the floor. Your hand and foot slipped at the same time as if someone slipped a blown fuse into your brain for but a split moment. You catch tumble a few sets of shelves down, you hit your elbow, back, and head. You're dazed and struggling to stay awake but you catch yourself upside down, precariously, holding on to some shelves while your tail stabilizes you from above.

You smell iron.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

this is getting too dangerous and emotions are running too high. return to the floor and relax. bong might not be real but you can imagine the feeling of bong to cope, soothe, and maldn't

[seppawku]

you're probably hurt, are there any supplies nearby that you can safely grab and use to stop the presumable bleeding?

[aotihav]

Take a brief moment to think about how glad you are that you put the axe in your Pocket™. If that thing was flailing around wildly in freefall you'd probably be hurt even worse. Ponder how much you appreciate your Pocket™.



Oh and don't let go while you're pondering. That would waste the precious life the Pocket™ just gave you.

[Lucy]

this is getting too dangerous and emotions are running too high. return to the floor and relax. bong might not be real but you can imagine the feeling of bong to cope, soothe, and maldn't

You really wish you had a pack. Never were much one for weed but you live for the smooth taste of a [untranslatable] red. You aren't sure you can move right now without killing yourself. But you won't panic.

you're probably hurt, are there any supplies nearby that you can safely grab and use to stop the presumable bleeding?

You think its your head. The aches are everywhere but its sharp around your left ear. You have, at best, the gloves in your Pocket™. You can't exactly reach your Pocket™ right now.

Take a brief moment to think about how glad you are that you put the axe in your Pocket™. If that thing was flailing around wildly in freefall you'd probably be hurt even worse. Ponder how much you appreciate your Pocket™.



Oh and don't let go while you're pondering. That would waste the precious life the Pocket™ just gave you.

You are grateful for the Pocket™ actually. But the axe might have cut you internally, you'll need to check on that. You can't feel anything around that area but it doesn't mean it's not a problem.

Having cleared your mind somewhat you slowly, delicately, move to roll over in position, and then re-orient yourself in a more stable position. You can't see anything, it's genuinely of no use checking up on yourself up here. You make the slow climb down. By the time you have reached the floor you feel faint.

What is to be done?

[aotihav]

If you still have the coherence of thought to do so, take inventory of any internal damage you may have suffered now that you can see. Since you may or may not know what that would look like, try to search for any points giving you pain in addition to your head.

See if there is blood (a liquid) coming from the points that hurt. Consider donning your gloves before inspecting these sites. For good measure, if you haven't passed out by now, go wash your hands with the power washer jet spray (NOT DIRECTLY IN THE STREAM).

or just black out. It's your choice, really. Listening to us voices is what caused this in the first place. And got you exploded. Maybe you should just black out.

[Guest]

[seppawku]

prop urself up against the shelves so you don't fall now that you're back on ur feet, and (carefully) poke around the spot that hurts on ur head. the gloves b4 touching aren't a bad idea, tbh, we have no idea what kinda germs the mysterious storage area or room itself has..

[Lucy]

If you still have the coherence of thought to do so, take inventory of any internal damage you may have suffered now that you can see. Since you may or may not know what that would look like, try to search for any points giving you pain in addition to your head.

See if there is blood (a liquid) coming from the points that hurt. Consider donning your gloves before inspecting these sites. For good measure, if you haven't passed out by now, go wash your hands with the power washer jet spray (NOT DIRECTLY IN THE STREAM).

or just black out. It's your choice, really. Listening to us voices is what caused this in the first place. And got you exploded. Maybe you should just black out.

You don't really wish to black out. As much as you want out of here by any means necessary, you've already established that not even death will liberate you. You can see the allure though.

You pull your Pocket™ out of your pouch and feel around in there. seems fine, really. Axe did scuff the Pocket™ and the box again. You'll be alright on this front. You leave it out of your pouch for now.

And no, listening to voices isn't quite accurate, you think to yourself, before it was more direct compulsion and control. Not so much now.

You open the blue door and wash your hands near a spray. You are now wet. But there's no blood on your hands. You shake them off a bit, you feel even more faint.

You trip backwards and catch yourself. You're being sent visions of hell you are sure.

prop urself up against the shelves so you don't fall now that you're back on ur feet, and (carefully) poke around the spot that hurts on ur head. the gloves b4 touching aren't a bad idea, tbh, we have no idea what kinda germs the mysterious storage area or room itself has..

That's a good idea, you think, if any more bullshit crosses your brain you need to be secure. Not the shelves though, you sit down on the side of the room and don the gloves. You touch the painful area, a spike of pain travels through your body, there is quite a bit of blood on the glove now, though, you are fairly sure the rate has slowed significantly in the time since the injury. You feel terrible. You don't know what a germ is, but you don't want to get infected, a painful way to die. It may be too late. You can barely think let alone contemplate how you're going to recover from this.

What is to be done?