GET OUT

[Lucy]

lay on the floor for 5 minutes and 7 seconds exactly

You lie down on your stomach and scream. Not even in death can you escape this torture. They can't even grant you this. Who even is "they" why are you here, why do you exist, why is any of this happening to you. You scream. The time passes. You've spent a lot more than 5 minutes and 7 seconds here. Nothing has changed. Why would it. Nothing has changed.

YOU HAVE GAINED ONE POINT OF SELF DETERMINATION!

Go through the red door

You open the red door. There's a warm, brick wall. Nothing has changed.

Do the exact same sequence of actions you did last time and get stuck in an infinite loop.

You won't. You can't. What the hell even is a point of self determination. You saw that in your own mind you know. You didn't think that, you're not going through all of that exactly as it was, and even if you wanted to you can't, you've already broken the routine. Nothing has changed. You open the blue door. There's a car wash in there. You still don't know what a car is. You open the supplies door. There's the shelves, again. You climb up them, again. They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again. You pick up the boxes, you know good and well whats in here. Again. You aren't doing that. Again. You gently toss the two boxes into the white room. Nothing has changed.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Obtain the electronic parts from the box on the 17th shelf again, and rebuild the BOMB. Then press the first button, the one that made the sound like a ticking clock, set the device down in front of the brick wall, and hide as far away as possible.

This should explode the brick wall, and in some way express your anger and disdain towards whatever forces of nature are responsible for your eternal torment.

[Lucy]

Obtain the electronic parts from the box on the 17th shelf again, and rebuild the BOMB. Then press the first button, the one that made the sound like a ticking clock, set the device down in front of the brick wall, and hide as far away as possible.

This should explode the brick wall, and in some way express your anger and disdain towards whatever forces of nature are responsible for your eternal torment.

You pick up the bomb. Oh no, you're not doing this again. Sorry overwhelming urge to do literally every last command that enters your mind, this is too far. Where would you even hide? These walls don't look that thick or safe, that explosion was powerful. You wire up the bomb next to the brick wall and do not press any button. Listen, now that you've died and not escaped, the appetite for suicide is simply not there. You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb. You feel somewhat better about yourself. Why you found that amusing evades you entirely, but you're learning not to worry about these things.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb.

Well now you've created a situation in which the bomb could go off at any time. Rookie mistake.
 

They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again.

Can you take one of the empty boxes, flatten it out, and slide it underneath one of the shelves to prevent it from passing through the floor?

[Lucy]

You pick up the pencil and write "free button" with an arrow pointing to the bomb.

Well now you've created a situation in which the bomb could go off at any time. Rookie mistake.
 

They fall to and through the floor as you put your weight on them, again.

Can you take one of the empty boxes, flatten it out, and slide it underneath one of the shelves to prevent it from passing through the floor?

You ponder your folly. You'll accept the risk of being blown to smithereens if it means there's someone else here.

You empty out one of the boxes and fold it flat, and put it underneath the shelves where they vanish into the floor. Stepping on the shelves once more, you hear a soft crunch of folding cardboard. It's simply not strong enough to hold your weight. And it has taken the box with it into the void. You inspect this further, it's not literally phasing into the floor, there's a hole there where the shelves fall into it and past the floor. There's about 2mm of clearance between the shelves and the floor, a tight fit. You reach in and try and grab your box back, it's not there, fallen through entirely. Whoops.

You think this was a good idea though, and ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight. The axe's handle perhaps? You really don't want to lose the axe though.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight.

The door handle perhaps? Assuming whoever built this place is sensible enough to use the far superior lever-style handle rather than the antiquated knob-shaped handle that no one likes.

Also assuming it's made of metal and not, like, wood or something.

[Lucy]

ponder what else you have that might be able to wedge the shelves in place while being strong enough to hold your weight.

The door handle perhaps? Assuming whoever built this place is sensible enough to use the far superior lever-style handle rather than the antiquated knob-shaped handle that no one likes.

Also assuming it's made of metal and not, like, wood or something.

You take the door handle back off the supplies door, it comes off easily like last time. It is one of the knobby types sadly, with a couple loose screws lying flaccid in it ready to be attached to some sort of hole. You'll give this a go anyway. You head back to the supplies room and carefully lay the odd hourglass like shape it takes diagonally over the edge of the floor, and stabilize it there with your foot. You push as hard as you can down on the shelves while holding it here and wedge it between the shelf and the floor. This should stop the shelves from moving now. You hope. It doesn't seem too strong. It can take your weight, for now.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Ascend yon shelves!

[Lucy]

Ascend yon shelves!

You climb.

There seems to be very little up here, you haven't found any more boxes. You have a good rhythm going now, this is a real workout.

You climb.

The light levels are thinning out now. There could be small things on these shelves, you wouldn't know.

You climb.

You find another plastic box, you can just barely make out that it has 18 buttons! 6 rows of 3 buttons. It's too dark to see anything else. You Pocket™ it.

You climb.

You're coming closer to the lights you saw from below now.

You climb.

You're now perched awkwardly looking at a white TV screen in place of the walls, this was the light, or one of them anyway. The sight of the floor way below you sends a shiver up your spine.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

Put on the simpson

[Endboss Empress]

Become really convinced this is somehow a "Truman Show" situation, as if a big television is somehow definitive proof.

[Guest]

remove yoda bong from inventory. remove bucket of water from inventory. use bucket of water on yoda bong. remove flower from inventory. use flower on yoda bong. remove lighter from inventory. use lighter on yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. remove cell phone from inventory. text ex with cell phone. drop cell phone. use yoda bong. go sleep.

[aotihav]

Hey, scary TV. would you break my fall if I just slipped and plummeted to my death. No?
Fine. Press some buttons on the box you just obtained, maybe it's a remote for the damn thing.

[Lucy]

Put on the simpson

You consider this. You don't know what the simpson is. You feel like you should know, yet another thing this hell has denied you. And putting it on? What does that even mean. Like, you want to wear? it? Clothesways? You're developing a migraine.

Become really convinced this is somehow a "Truman Show" situation, as if a big television is somehow definitive proof.

And just who is Truman anyway? What. You don't know where these thoughts even come from. And why is Truman showing you something, Truman show what? What is Truman showing. And why is the "television" proof? Is that what this white screen is? A "television"? Your migraine is now in full swing, your footing remains stable.

remove yoda bong from inventory. remove bucket of water from inventory. use bucket of water on yoda bong. remove flower from inventory. use flower on yoda bong. remove lighter from inventory. use lighter on yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. use yoda bong. remove cell phone from inventory. text ex with cell phone. drop cell phone. use yoda bong. go sleep.

You're broken. You are now at war with yourself. You have severed the link between thought and action. Everything is a mere suggestion, not a command, it's freeing. You're free. You're still in hell, but you're free. That's it. Yoda? What's Yoda? You know what a bong is, whats a yoda bong. You wish you had a yoda bong, god you wish you had a yoda bong. You could be calm and zooted off your mind right now, it'd stop these horrific thoughts compelling you to violate yourself. And text your ex? On a phone? What's a phone. They have cells? Is it a plant? What does that have to do with writing. No. You shant. Listen you. You, "guest". You've had quite enough of this "guest". You can take the nearest exist from your own mind and leave. You thank yourself kindly.

You have been fully disconnected from yourself. You can only talk to yourself now.
You can now make a distinction between these voices.

Hey, scary TV. would you break my fall if I just slipped and plummeted to my death. No?
Fine. Press some buttons on the box you just obtained, maybe it's a remote for the damn thing.

You sigh. This one seems more reasonable. You ask the "TV", is that short for "television"? Whatever, you ask it if it would break your fall if you slipped. The "TV" stoically remains as it was. Surprisingly.

You retrieve the box and press some buttons. "This is a "remote"?" you ask this "aotihav". The "TV" blinks and starts showing a moving picture. You're unnerved by this magic. A blue sky is depicted, and the word "the simpsons" appears and fades behind clouds. You cannot understand the language, you assume it said "the simpsons". You do not understand why you can read this. Is this the simpson? Did you put it on? Your mind skips and a nerve twitches in your leg, you stumble and catch yourself before you fall.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Find a cozier place to watch the Simpson, no one wants to watch TV while dangling off a shelf above a giant pit.

[Lucy]

Find a cozier place to watch the Simpson, no one wants to watch TV while dangling off a shelf above a giant pit.

You're pretty comfy as is honestly. Feet on a shelf, tail supporting your weight, back hunched up. It's not bad. This simpson thing is utterly bizzare though, you think to yourself. Aside from not being able to understand a word of this, the creatures this "simpson" depicts are truly weird. They're yellow, got no tails, tiny feet and ill defined hands. And they're bald aside from their heads. Some of the smaller ones seem to have weirdly shaped heads. These creatures remind you of others, you can't exactly remember which ones though. The clothes they wear are form fitting and don't flow much at all, like they're all dressed for war. You don't want to watch the simpsons anymore. You press another button and the screen goes to something else, a white symbol in the top left corner of the screen. This one: >_. It is blinking. You're at a complete loss as to what this is. Another button on this, "remote", and you get a blue screen, this time with no simpson. It's just blue, a violent horrible blue. Another button, the screen blinks and is blue once more. You try all the buttons in order, the rest of them are just this blue, except for one that turns the lights off entirely.

What is to be done?

[knux400]

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

If the Simpson refuses to return to the screen, simply continue climbing in a show of defiance. No more TV watching will be done until the Simpson returns!

[Lucy]

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A?

If the Simpson refuses to return to the screen, simply continue climbing in a show of defiance. No more TV watching will be done until the Simpson returns!

Listen "knux400" you simply don't want to simpson. You really don't get it. But continuing on your way seems like a good move, so you will. You put the "remote" back in your Pocket™ and go.

You climb.

The darkness returns to you. You're operating by touch and sound once more.

You climb.

The lights above seem further away than ever.

You climb.

You really hope that doorknob will hold.

You climb.

The breeze stops. You feel around the area, there's a fine grating on the walls here. Some kind of vent? Is this where the air is coming from? You aren't sure if you can get into this, it feels sturdy.

You climb.

The lights above feel no closer than before.

You climb.

You're really getting tired.

You climb.

Your hand misses a step and you fumble again, a sharp rush of adrenaline pulses through you. You have to get out of here.

You climb.

The soundscape has changed. The walls seem more distant. You feel around, the walls are slightly further away now, and the shelves are too. Climbing further in your tired state would be dangerous.

What is to be done?

[Guest]

ponder lore implications of bong knowledge

[Guest]

ponder bong implications of lore knowledge