Dangerzone High -- an unofficial morbit story

[anima]

RIJK: First of all, I'm not obligated to do this-- the audience seems to care about my well-being more than I do?
RIJK: You've been rude and manipulative to me, and they're not standing for it, at least.
JUDGE: Rude and manipulative, huh...
JUDGE: I guess that's how I am without a little voice inside my head to tell me "no."
JUDGE: Of course, that little voice takes on many annoying forms itself. Volley has all these very reasonable explanations as to why all people are bad and we shouldn't talk to them, Armament knows all about how to be a "responsible person" and not get in trouble...
JUDGE: What do I know? How to get in trouble, mostly.
RIJK: That doesn't sound... very good for any party involved.
RIJK: People are designed to help each other, sort of in general-- that's why we have society, right?
JUDGE: Society's never done anything good for anyone in here, but go on.
RIJK: Maybe you can have... your own society? Inside of you? And you can help each other there?
RIJK: And no one's going to want to help you if you're going to be like that.

Judge looks very much like he'd rather be anywhere else.

JUDGE: I'm...
JUDGE: I'm not designed to say this, but...
JUDGE: I'm sorry.
RIJK: I... don't know whether or not to accept that.
JUDGE: Do you want my reasoning?
RIJK: ...I wanted an apology more than I want to hear what motive you have behind it, no.
JUDGE: No, no, not like that! Yikes! What kind of asshole have I made myself out to be?
JUDGE: I just mean... why I'm like this.
JUDGE: We've all got a sort of "job" in here, and mine's to be a bad example. I'm made to be what not to do.
RIJK: Do you want to be like that?
JUDGE: Fuck no! But it's what I'm stuck with, isn't it?
JUDGE: I'm supposed to be conniving and rude and horrible until we get what we need because no one else can or should use my methods. Thanks for falling for it, by the way.
RIJK: I'm not falling for anything. I'm here to help Volley if I can.
JUDGE: If you're worried about her, she's passed out over here. We've got like, a living room, with a few couches, and she's on one of them. She seems alright for now.
RIJK: Have you tried... going against your nature?
JUDGE: Why would I do something like that?
RIJK: Because underneath it, you seem like a good person to me.
RIJK: You could have lied and told me that Volley's well-being hinged on me doing something you wanted of me, but you told me what sounds like the truth.

Judge offers a terrified gaze to the floor.

JUDGE: Thank... you, I think...
RIJK: Are you alright?
JUDGE: Oh, I'm definitely doing bad on top of my usual state of not alright, but that's not your fault. I think my identity's just collapsing, y'know?
JUDGE: Convinced all my life I'm scum and you just go ahead and tell me I'm good?
JUDGE: Me, good?
RIJK: I don't really see why not.
JUDGE: Oh, to see why not would require years of therapy-exposition we don't have, and I'm not about to inflict that on ya.
JUDGE: The most I can say is an incredibly strained "thank you."
JUDGE: Feel free to actually leave, by the way, if you want. I know I've done nothing that would convince anyone I'm anything worth helping.
RIJK: I don't want to go.
RIJK: If nothing else, I want to check on Volley once she can tell me she's doing alright herself.

I hope I've satisfied the balance between helping and standing my ground. I hope not to disappoint...

[cosmo]

no rijk that was great! and judge i think an apology is a great start. i can’t and won’t accept an apology on rijk’s behalf but i feel better about interacting w you right now and less worried about rijk (Sorry rijk you’re the protagonist and I Care You) just... don’t forget okay? You’re responsible for your own actions regardless of what role you feel you have to fit yourself in and that means that you don’t have to try to “be a bad example” if you don’t want to

[Lilium Mortem]

Rijk, you shouldn't feel like you need to appease us. We aren't running your life, we're just here to give advice and suggestions. You can and should ignore us if you don't agree with us. if you feel like you need to apease an audience then get some 'character development' into a better person that cares for themself.

[anima]

Alright, I'll try to keep that in mind... Thank you, everyone, for caring about me when I'm not certain how to.

RIJK: The apology is good, by the way... I'm still going to be a little wary myself, but... It's a good start to being a good person.
RIJK: He doesn't have to be anything that he doesn't want to be, no matter what his-- your?-- brain says. He's responsible for his own actions.
VOLLEY: I'll let him know that.
RIJK: Volley! You're back!
VOLLEY: Yeah, and I've got a headache... They told you much too much.
RIJK: Was it oversharing of them to just... exist around me?
VOLLEY: ...I guess not. I'll try not to count it as that, anyways...
RIJK: Are you okay?
VOLLEY: Considering... everything? No, not really...
RIJK: Should I go?
VOLLEY: ...Not yet. I think I need someone.
RIJK: Okay.

Volley clings to my arm and begins sobbing onto my shoulder. It's a startling movement, and I jump a bit at it at first, before she fully settles in. Gently, cautiously, I attempt to pet her hair.

VOLLEY: He and I were... friends, we knew each other back before we--
VOLLEY: We watched cartoons together, we would go out and pick flowers together--
VOLLEY: When he came here, he always wondered if he could talk with the plants, since they seemed--

She's no longer coherent.

RIJK: It's okay to cry, Volley.
VOLLEY: I know, and I just...
VOLLEY: I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just--
VOLLEY: I thought the plug would get pulled, I didn't expect to...
VOLLEY: So many holes...
RIJK: It must have been terrifying. Sickening.
VOLLEY: It was! It was.
VOLLEY: I just... I keep seeing it every time I close my eyes, you know?
RIJK: I've... heard about that, at least. I think I understand.
VOLLEY: Probably.
VOLLEY: I want to... not be here. I want to not be here again, and have someone else be here for me.
VOLLEY: But I can't do that. I can't just run away from the truth, and even if I could, someone else would have to face it.
VOLLEY: And there's the chance they'd be someone who knew him, too...
RIJK: It'll be alright.
RIJK: Do you want to play a game?
VOLLEY: ...Not right now, Rijk.
VOLLEY: Thank you for offering, but I just want to... lay here and close my eyes until I don't see anything.
RIJK: That's alright. Go ahead and do that.
VOLLEY: Just keep talking, alright?

[Lilium Mortem]

Want to hear a story?

Long ago when Earth was full of magic and wonder there was a princess locked in the tallest tower of a castle guarded by a farce dragon. She awaited the day a prince in shining armor, her one true love, would come to save her.

Meanwhile a wicked Lord conspired to gain power and status. he banished all the magical beings in his fiefdom to a swamp where a terrible green monster lived, and looked to marry into royalty. 

The monster in the swamp was a grotesque green beast, fat and ugly, hated by all. He wanted nothing more than to be left alone. When the magical beings invaded his swamp he yelled, threatened, and pled with them to leave, but they were more scared of the lord than they were of him. So with great reluctance, the monster sought out the lord.

When he arrived in the Lord's town it was empty, but he could hear cheers coming form the coliseum. he investigated and saw the Lord watching over bouts of gladiatorial combat. Seeing a monster, the assembled knights went from testing their strength against each other to attempting to take down the monster. without even trying to, the monster bested them all, and got an audience with the Lord. Conniving as ever, the lord said the monster could have his swamp back, if he went and rescued the princess for him so that he may be wed into royalty.

The monster agreed and set out to find the princess. he walked for days before finding the castle. as he entered he picked up armor and weapons from fallen knights to use against the dragon, and made his way through the castle. The princess, seeing a brave hero there to rescue her, watched in awe as the disguised monster made little work of the dragon.

When he reached her chamber, the monster saw the princess was asleep. not caring for her, he simply picked her up and ran for it. the princess knew this was not how things were done, and as soon as they were out of the castle the monster stripped of the armor and revealed himself.

The princess demanded to go back to the tower, adamant that her one true love could not be so monstrous. The monster did not care, and simply picked her up as he made his way back. as night came the princess hid in some ruins, refusing to sleep near the monster, but during the night the monster heard something, and concerned entered the ruins.

The princess was crying. and she had changed. for a curse was set upon her. every night she would lose her beauty and humanity, becoming a monster. The monster saw straight away who the princess was, and saw her for her true beauty. durring their journy back the two became close.

Then, it was time to say goodbye. the princess would be wed to the Lord, and true loves kiss would set her free. The monster sulked outside the town, having grown fond of the princess, and as he heard wedding bells, knew for sure that he loved the princess.

In an act of love he objected to the wedding. as the sun started to dip bellow the horizon, the Lord saw the princess transform and was disgusted. The monster confessed his true love then, and the princess saw a person that would never judge her, never give her up, or let her down.

They kissed, and at first it seemed as though the curse wasn't lifted, but as the sun rose over the horizon she didn't change back, and realized that it had been, and that her value never lied in her beauty, and that this was who she truly was all along. Two monsters saw the beauty in each other, even as the world did not, and they lived happily ever after.

[Guest]

If you know any songs that keep an even and slow beat, i'ld suggest singing those, Rijk.

[anima]

RIJK: ...I have a story.
VOLLEY: From the audience? That sounds good, right now...
RIJK: "Long ago, when Earth was full of magic and wonder, there was a princess locked in the tallest tower of a castle guarded by a farce dragon."
VOLLEY: A farce dragon...
RIJK: It must be a typo, I assume they meant "fierce..."
RIJK: "She awaited the day a prince in shining armour, her one true love, would come to save her."

Volley sighs, a slight growl escaping her lips as she grips her snout.

VOLLEY: Oh, it's one of those fairy tales.
RIJK: Hey, true love is a nice thought!
VOLLEY: Sure, but it's never... realistic, exactly. Maybe some people have it, but... surely not everyone.
RIJK: ...Let's not think about that.
RIJK: "Meanwhile, a wicked Lord conspired to gain power and status. He banished all the magical beings in his fiefdom to a swamp where a terrible green monster lived, and looked to marry into royalty."
RIJK: "The monster in the swamp was a grotesque green beast, fat and ugly, hated by all. He wanted nothing more than to be left alone."
VOLLEY: Oh, mood.
RIJK: Hey, that's my friend you're being mean to.
VOLLEY: Friend...
RIJK: "When the magical beings invaded his swamp he yelled, threatened, and pled with them to leave, but they were more scared of the lord than they were of him. So with great reluctance, the monster sought out the lord."
RIJK: "When he arrived in the Lord's town it was empty, but he could hear cheers coming form the coliseum. He investigated and saw the Lord watching over bouts of gladiatorial combat."
RIJK: "Seeing a monster, the assembled knights went from testing their strength against each other to attempting to take down the monster. Without even trying to, the monster bested them all, and got an audience with the Lord."
VOLLEY: When I was a kid, I used to daydream about doing that to my family...
RIJK: Really? That seems rough...
VOLLEY: Yeah. It felt... more for fun than anything, at the time, but it's kind of fucked up to look back on. I'd imagine myself as some kind of terror and see myself going up against every great knight that has stood before me, because I thought that was the only way to be better than them.
VOLLEY: I don't have that kind of hope anymore.
RIJK: That's definitely rough.
RIJK: "Conniving as ever, the lord said the monster could have his swamp back, if he went and rescued the princess for him so that he may be wed into royalty."
RIJK: "The monster agreed and set out to find the princess. He walked for days before finding the castle. As he entered, he picked up armour and weapons from fallen knights to use against the dragon, and made his way through the castle. The princess, seeing a brave hero there to rescue her, watched in awe as the disguised monster made little work of the dragon."
RIJK: "When he reached her chamber, the monster saw the princess was asleep. Not caring for her, he simply picked her up and ran for it. The princess knew this was not how things were done, and as soon as they were out of the castle the monster stripped of the armour and revealed himself."
VOLLEY: I don't know, I feel I'd be grateful for some sort of rescuer no matter how personally rude they were to me.
RIJK: That's... sort of worrying.
VOLLEY: Haha, probably...
RIJK: "The princess demanded to go back to the tower, adamant that her one true love could not be so monstrous."

Volley snorts; the fact that she's making a sound close to laughter seems promising.

VOLLEY: Now that's just plain rude. He doesn't control how he looks, does he?
RIJK: I can't disagree with that...
RIJK: "The monster did not care, and simply picked her up as he made his way back. As night came the princess hid in some ruins, refusing to sleep near the monster, but during the night the monster heard something, and concerned entered the ruins."
RIJK: "The princess was crying, and she had changed. For a curse was set upon her: every night she would lose her beauty and humanity, becoming a monster. The monster saw straight away who the princess was, and saw her for her true beauty. During their journey back the two became close."
RIJK: "Then, it was time to say goodbye. The princess would be wed to the Lord, and true love's kiss would set her free. The monster sulked outside the town, having grown fond of the princess, and as he heard wedding bells, knew for sure that he loved the princess."
RIJK: "In an act of love he objected to the wedding. As the sun started to dip bellow the horizon, the Lord saw the princess transform and was disgusted."
VOLLEY: Bellow the horizon...
RIJK: I assume they meant "below..."
VOLLEY: Oh, I know, it's just funny to me to point it out.
RIJK: That's fair.
RIJK: "The monster confessed his true love then, and the princess saw a person that would never judge her, never give her up, or let her down."
VOLLEY: To have someone who would never desert you, never make you cry or say goodbye...
VOLLEY: I'll admit it's a nice fantasy.
RIJK: "They kissed, and at first it seemed as though the curse wasn't lifted, but as the sun rose over the horizon she didn't change back, and realized that it had been, and that her value never lied in her beauty, and that this was who she truly was all along. Two monsters saw the beauty in each other, even as the world did not, and they lived happily ever after."
VOLLEY: That was sweet.

She turns over from the place in my lap where she'd flopped down, angling my face to look down at her.

VOLLEY: Thank you, Rijk.
VOLLEY: And thank you too to your audience who gave us that story.
VOLLEY: You can leave now, if you want, or you can stay here a while.
RIJK: I'm... not sure. What would you rather?
VOLLEY: I don't have anything better to do than be near you right now. If you go, I'll just sleep and hope I don't think about... anything I don't want to think about.

[Lilium Mortem]

You're not in any hurry to be anywhere, right? Sometimes It's nice to just be with someone else, even if you don't talk. It's comforting to have someone else nearby when you're feeling bad. Sometimes it's nice to just talk about nonsense, small talk, whatever. Ultimately it's up to you, but I think Volley would appreciate your company.

[Shifter55]

The two of you should contact the others to see if they are alright, perhaps. Otherwise, Volley mentioned roguelikes? It would be interesting to hear how you sit on the spectrum of risk management in those.

[anima]

Roguelikes...? I'm not particularly good at them, but somehow I seem to manage... My reaction time isn't the best, so I move through a stage with caution over speed. I've heard it's a good strategy, but I still do relatively poor with it...

RIJK: I'll stay here, I think.
RIJK: We can play a game, if you like? I heard from--
VOLLEY: A game. Yeah, a game would be nice.

She rolls off my lap with an exhale that seems to be more from impact than any mood, and begins to set up a game for two players.

VOLLEY: A rhythm game. Something to take my mind off of things as best I can.
VOLLEY: The plan is to enter the music trance zone and stay there until things are...
VOLLEY: Until I'm strong enough to get out of it on my own, I guess. Things aren't going to be okay, I can't expect them to be.
VOLLEY: I don't know why it takes me so long to learn that...
RIJK: ...I think it takes all of us a while. I'm not as impacted by this as you are-- you knew each other growing up, after all-- I'm still...
RIJK: Earlier today I'd assumed he'd wake up and be fine--
VOLLEY: Can we not talk about him?
RIJK: Alright. I'm sorry.
VOLLEY: Thank you, it's no problem. I mean. It isn't anymore. You know.

She hands me a controller with one hand as she gesticulates with the other, then settles beside me and navigates the game console to the game she'd inserted. We sit together like this, for a while, with myself losing the majority of these lackadaisical rhythm battles Volley has brought to us.

RIJK: You're very good at this...
VOLLEY: I've been trying so hard to get perfect on the single player campaign. It requires... a degree of input precision I'd call unnatural. But I've been getting there.
RIJK: Do you ever use your scraps to... sort of soft reset a game?
VOLLEY: Yeah, absolutely. Reversion affinity is handy for a lot of things...
RIJK: Should I envy that?
VOLLEY: Absolutely not. Your scrap affinity can make plush toys come to life! There's nothing cooler than that.
RIJK: It can do that...?
VOLLEY: You've done it before, haven't you?
RIJK: I'm not sure... Maybe Moon Logic did? They're good at using scraps that aren't their own affinity...
VOLLEY: Perhaps. I can't remember too well, either... Either way, it's possible for you.
RIJK: It's possible... I'll have to remember that in the future. It sounds... comforting.

This continues on for time imperceptible, somewhere I would hazard a guess to be around an hour or two, before someone knocks at our door.

TORPEDO: Volley, you alright?
TORPEDO: We've been looking for you for a while. You've got to stop disappearing like that...

[Lilium Mortem]

whoops, probably should have let them know y'all were ok. really should be standard operating procedure in a place like this.

also now would be a great time to exposit about your scrap abilities. plush golems sound adorable.

[King-Clod]

Let Volley lead, she's the one being addressed. Don't want to speak for her. Do back her up with whatever she says, though.

[anima]

My scrap affinity is "soft," which means either warm and fuzzy memories or actual physical softness... sometimes both! Usually, I use this just to boost morale, or in order to lessen blows from creatures... Buffs and debuffs, metaphorically speaking. It's not the worst, but it's not the best. I... don't think I recall anything about those plush golems, though. Whatever; it doesn't seem important right now.

Anyhow, I keep quiet and allow Volley her words.

VOLLEY: Oh, sorry about that! Yeah, I ran off after I saw... the body, haha...
RIJK: I'm here too, also.
TORPEDO: That's a relief. I'll go tell Kate to stop knocking on your dorm, then.

Shuffling sounds. It seems Torpedo is gone for the moment, but he's likely enough to come back and check on his sibling.

VOLLEY: Rijk.
RIJK: Hm? Oh, you look... more serious than usual, I think?
VOLLEY: When does it sink in?
RIJK: What?
VOLLEY: It's... hard not to think back to him. I saw... the state he was in, but I can't seem to get it to really... click that he's gone.
RIJK: I thought you didn't want to talk about Alicorn?
VOLLEY: Yeah, that was when I thought it would work. And it did take my mind off it, for a while, but...
VOLLEY: I'm going to have to deal with constant reminders he was there once. Constant reminders of exactly how he went out. I don't know what to do about that.
VOLLEY: Do I just have to deal with flashes of his voice in my mind clear as glass, followed by the image of how he ended up?
RIJK: I...  Really don't know anything about any of this.
RIJK: Judge asked me to be a therapist earlier--
VOLLEY: He what?
RIJK: It's fine, he apologized afterwards--
VOLLEY: He what?
RIJK: I take it that doesn't happen very often?
VOLLEY: I've never seen him do something like that. Like... making an effort to better himself. I'd kind of... assumed it was beyond him.
VOLLEY: I'll have to keep that in mind.
RIJK: I don't think he's as awful as you and he both seem to think, but do be careful, alright?
VOLLEY: Of course!
VOLLEY: Anyways, you were saying?
RIJK: Huh? Oh, right...
RIJK: Judge may have had me play therapist earlier, but obviously, I'm just as much of a lost, scared child as any other student. I don't know everything about mental health. I barely have it myself, heheh...
RIJK: You sound like you're having... flashbacks, or maybe the...
RIJK: Do you think you'll see a person "based" on Alicorn in your head?

Even with the difficulty of reading emotion on an eyeless face, Volley looks more strained than I've ever seen her. She runs a hand through a strand of hair, briefly looping it around one finger.

VOLLEY: I'm actively trying not to have that happen.

[1011686]

Are there any therapists in this place? Could one of the teachers start looking into that if not, would probably be a good idea.
As for Volley, could she try just letting the memories, be memories, if that's possible? Let them run through her mind without denying them, with the knowledge of what they are and what happened.
idk, grieving takes a long time and there isn't just some string of words you can say that will make things better, if only you can find them, but decisions made during this time will probably affect how she continues to feel in the future as well. So, just say what you think will help, even if not by very much.

[Lilium Mortem]

I lost someone dear to me very suddenly. It hurt a lot at first, mind numbing sadness, it eases up after a while, but doesn't go away. There's a hole in my heart where he used to be, every time I do something, or think something, that would have involved him I run into that hole and have to stare at it, all the parts of my life where he was neatly slotted into are ripped and torn holes that bleed, but then are just gone. eventually life changes so much that those holes are covered up, you don't run into things that make you think of him as often. 

It's not wrong to get sad or to grieve, but whenever I think about the precious person that left my life, I think about how much he would have wanted to see me happy, how much he'd be cheering for me. 

also RIJK, can you like 'soften' the impact of Grief on Volley?

[King-Clod]

After the sliger attack is over, do you think you guys could have a service for Alicorn? Like an informal funeral?

[anima]

From what the teachers have told us... the job application for counsellor has been open for about two years now, but no one has been brave enough to take it. I never knew the previous counsellor, never personally had reason to.

RIJK: I know there's no string of words that will magically help you, but... I'm going to try and help you get over the grief, however I can.
RIJK: Is there some way to let the memories just... be memories, maybe?
VOLLEY: I'm not sure I want that.
VOLLEY: I'm... not sure what to do...
VOLLEY: I don't know if my mind is capable of handling the permanence of death.
RIJK: Do you want to see yourself try?
VOLLEY: I... think so.
VOLLEY: I don't... need to splinter this mind more. It's just... hard not to.
VOLLEY: There's this... pulsation of... something like scraps pulling together.
RIJK: You don't need to deny that if you don't want to, but you don't have to actively have it happen.
VOLLEY: I'll... try. Sometimes it's... sort of temporary, and it falls apart in seconds.
VOLLEY: If I just... let the memories be memories, like you said, I think it'll be simpler to... dissolve.
RIJK: Eventually, there will be more memories overtop of those memories, too. You won't forget him, but you won't think of him as much.
VOLLEY: I know, but... right now it hurts. It isn't eventually yet.
RIJK: There's... one more thing I think I can do, if you'll let me.
RIJK: I can try and use a scrap to "soften" the impact of this on you, probably?

Volley looks away for a moment, out the wide virtual window the bunker dorms are equipped with, towards the view of a garden programmed onto each.

VOLLEY: Go ahead and do it.

I reach into my backpack and grab a scrap, a child's memory of being swaddled into a blanket after playing with their crayons, and I focus on Volley's mind. The resistance that meets me is almost as much a force of its own, sharp and monochrome and filtered like an old camera. I soothe the metaphorical spikes that result from it, wrapping them in memory and calming them down. The pain, fear, grief-- they all subside. Behind Volley has dropped something, shaped like a conch shell or a piece of candy, pink with black and white splatters of dots on the edges.

I check the scrap. It's Volley's memory of this very moment, in some abstract portrayal-- the sharpness and bleakness of grief subsiding like a crashing wave. I'm not an expert at identifying types, but I would guess evolution, or perhaps acceptance.

She hugs me before I can manage to ask how she's doing.

VOLLEY: Thank you, Rijk.
RIJK: Did you notice you dropped this?
VOLLEY: What is-- oh, a scrap. It's... hm... huh. That's interesting.
VOLLEY: We should take this back to someone at some point.
RIJK: Sometime, yes. Should we do anything more here?
VOLLEY: Nothing comes to mind. Shall we go?
RIJK: Perhaps we should wait for Torpedo to get back--

Ah, she's already stood up and getting ready to leave, taking the scrap with her alongside her things. Alright. I suppose I'll go with her, back up through the elevator to surface level and onward to the medical ward again.

I feel... it would be a good idea to call someone in order to get a briefing on the situation before we arrive there. I'm not sure who to call, though...

[ಠ_ಠ]

Honestly, trust fresh eyes. You don't need too much preparation here.

[Lilium Mortem]

Why not ask Volley who to call? also, have you ever considered a career in therapy? I feel like you'd be good at it. maybe even become the school councilor, if they let students do that because normal rules don't apply here. I say this because you're likable, and you like other people, you care about them in a way that not everyone can. Your entire class came together for Project Plot armor because you mean something to them, and you have a scrap affinity that would lend itself well to soothing troubled souls. so bartender as a backup career, alright?

[Shifter55]

I suppose Torpedo is waiting for you two somewhere? What usually happens after attacks like this? The main things I can think of is head counts and a lot of cleaning... In any case, just keep an eye on Volley for now, it's weird that that fell out.