LOOKING FOR GOODS+SERVICES

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:

HELLO... I am HAXEL and I have been LURKING these FORUMS for about three years...
HOWEVER, If you have read my PROFILE recently, you will know that I have arisen to seek out certain SERVICES...
Here they are:

LOOKING FOR GOODS:
EDIT: These will be used to furnish my HOME SURROUNDINGS...

• Will HAPPILY browse any OLD FURNITURE + OBJECTS + ANTIQUES that you do not WANT anymore... Including/esp. BROKEN things.
  
• WILLING TO TAKE any SCENE / MOVIE PROPS that you want to get rid of.
  
• ESPECIALLY Looking for any of the following:
  
  • SMOKE MACHINE/Anything that can create ATMOSPHERIC SMOKE/FOG for EXTENDED periods of time
    
  • DARKEST NIGHT Decorations
    
  • SHARP WEAPONS, Even just for display, preferably REAL (not PLASTIC/TOY)
    
  • DIM LIGHT FIXTURES
    
  
  

LOOKING FOR SERVICES:
EDIT: These are USEFUL SKILLS I believe will improve my QUALITY OF LIFE...

• teach me how to WASH LAUNDRY
  
• teach me how to CLEAN TCP FLUID STAINS OUT OF ANY NUMBER OF SURFACES
  
• teach me how to PICK LOCKS
  
• teach me how to FIX ELECTRONICS
  
• ACCOMPLICES
  
  • EDIT: I am looking for CONTACTS that are willing to meet-up IN-PERSON... It will be for SOCIAL PURPOSES exclusively and nothing more...
    
  
  

WHAT I CAN OFFER:
I am unfortunately VERY SHORT on CASH. In fact, I do not have an INCOME. Preferably I would like these things for FREE if at all possible.
However, if that is not possible:

• I can teach you how to COOK a PERFECT STEAK including SPICES, identifying CUTS of MEAT, et cetera.
  
• I have an extremely sharp BREAD KNIFE for sale... not to be confused with a BUTTER KNIFE
  

This is all I can OFFER for now...
I will UPDATE this LISTING in the FUTURE... I have some THINGS stored away that I will need to GET RID OF when I get the chance for those interested...

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:
Sorry for DOUBLE POSTING... But I may also be looking for a new HOUSING SITUATION. Any old/dusty/abandoned/unwanted homes, OFFER THEM TO ME.
I did not include this in the ORIGINAL LISTING because again, I do not have INCOME or MONEY and I do not think anyone will seriously offer.

[Lilium Mortem]

[Jocelyn] What do you mean by accomplices? that sounds concerningly like illegal activity.

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:
I will not talk about it in PUBLIC... that is strictly between me and the INTERESTED PARTY...
It is not anything to be concerned about...

[Lilium Mortem]

[Jocelyn]: I have noticed that your answer was not a no. I apologize, I do not think I could work with you, even though I can fulfil some of the services you requested.

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:
Willing to look into any JOB OFFERINGS as well for the income. But I must be allowed to hide my FACE if I do so...

[skinstealer]

[TASTY_TREAT]:

i can teach you how to sharpen knives effectively, i'd love some knowledge on meat and spices as a cook! ^_^

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:

I have noticed that your answer was not a no. I apologize, I do not think I could work with you, even though I can fulfil some of the services you requested.

I am willing to ELABORATE on "ACCOMPLICES" If you are willing to ELABORATE on these SERVICES you can fulfill...

i can teach you how to sharpen knives effectively, i'd love some knowledge on meat and spices as a cook! ^_^

I am happy to take up this OFFER... we can continue this PRIVATELY... what METHOD do you PREFER for this?

[skinstealer]

[TASTY_TREAT]: 

you can message me on MessiRoom, it's the same username as my account here!

[skinstealer]

***ADMIN*** [SLUMBER]:

Hi, I'm one of the admins for the site, and your post has been flagged as being possibly criminal or otherwise suspicious- if you want to avoid a ban or warning, I'm going to need you to clarify in your starting post the intent of your wanted goods/services as well as elaborating on the "accomplices" aspect.

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:

Hi, I'm one of the admins for the site, and your post has been flagged as being possibly criminal or otherwise suspicious- if you want to avoid a ban or warning, I'm going to need you to clarify in your starting post the intent of your wanted goods/services as well as elaborating on the "accomplices" aspect.

Sorry ADMIN I have EDITED the POST... Please INFORM me if any further CLARIFICATION is needed and please don't WARN or BAN me... I am not offering anything CRIMINAL or SUSPICIOUS.

[skinstealer]

[SLUMBER]:

Okay, that's better. I would advise not to get into meetups with someone you just met on the forums, both for your sake and theirs.

You're not getting a ban or a warning today, but I'd like to advise everyone replying to this thread to let me know if anything suspicious goes on with further interactions.

[King-Clod]

[CUDDLE_MONSTER]: oh! i think i can actually trade on this one! i think i have a few things you could use, i have a string of skull shaped twinkle lights (i wanted to make them into a necklace but couldn't figure out how, they need to be plugged in to work and stop working if a single light goes out- they're a nightmare to craft with)

i also have a broken musicbox i was gonna mess with, try to fix up with gold or something, that i think could really fit your spooky aesthetic! the metal bits inside got all bent and warped when i was trying to fix it, so it sounds a lot more discordant and haunting than you would think! it was made for the holiday season though, so it might not fit the vibe of a darkest night setup if that's what your going for. it is spooky though! it even gives my roommate the heebie jeebies whenever I play it, and nothing usually gets to her.

i'm not sure I'm really in the market for learning how to cut steak, but if you have any little doodads around the place you think i could make something out of, id love to trade! idk!

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:
I have completed a TRANSACTION and updated the ORIGINAL POST accordingly... I also have ONE MORE THING to offer for those who intend to TRADE...
 

oh! i think i can actually trade on this one! i think i have a few things you could use, i have a string of skull shaped twinkle lights (i wanted to make them into a necklace but couldn't figure out how, they need to be plugged in to work and stop working if a single light goes out- they're a nightmare to craft with)

i also have a broken musicbox i was gonna mess with, try to fix up with gold or something, that i think could really fit your spooky aesthetic! the metal bits inside got all bent and warped when i was trying to fix it, so it sounds a lot more discordant and haunting than you would think! it was made for the holiday season though, so it might not fit the vibe of a darkest night setup if that's what your going for. it is spooky though! it even gives my roommate the heebie jeebies whenever I play it, and nothing usually gets to her.

i'm not sure I'm really in the market for learning how to cut steak, but if you have any little doodads around the place you think i could make something out of, id love to trade! idk!

 Perhaps I can INTEREST you in my NEWLY-SHARPENED KNIVES... otherwise I can attempt to look for SOMETHING ELSE...

[Lilium Mortem]

[VOID_COWBOY]: the edgelord bullshit just makes this so much more sad smh. 

---

[RADCAT_420]: @[LURKING_BUTCHER] IM me on messiroom(same username) and I'll teach you how to wash laundry and clean fluid stains, For free.

[skinstealer]

[TERROR_TIME]:

hehehe...i like the sound of accomplices...maybe i can be of assistance >:)

[King-Clod]

[CUDDLE_MONSTER]: maybe? i think i'd probably hurt myself with a sharpened knife, haha. i have been wanting to try whittling though, so maybe! i'd especially be interested if you have any unsharpened knives with cool handles, or engravings on them. or if you have reeaally tiny knives i can make into earrings, that works too! or beads. i'm a sucker for some good beads.

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:

I apologize for my ABSENCE... let me RESPOND to these OFFERS...

maybe? i think i'd probably hurt myself with a sharpened knife, haha. i have been wanting to try whittling though, so maybe! i'd especially be interested if you have any unsharpened knives with cool handles, or engravings on them. or if you have reeaally tiny knives i can make into earrings, that works too! or beads. i'm a sucker for some good beads.

I do not have BEADS or UNSHARPENED KNIVES (I got very EAGER with my SHARPENER)... perhaps I can INTEREST you in some of the FURNITURE I have in my HOME. Some of it is OLD-FASHIONED in a way that does not SUIT me. FLORAL PATTERNS and the like... or if you like I can DE-SHARPEN my knives for you... my BREAD KNIFE has a nice ALMOST-MARBLED pattern on its handle...

hehehe...i like the sound of accomplices...maybe i can be of assistance >:)

 Yes... we can COMMUNICATE through any PRIVATE means you like... please tell me which MODE you would PREFER...

@[LURKING_BUTCHER] IM me on messiroom(same username) and I'll teach you how to wash laundry and clean fluid stains, For free.

I will SEND the FRIEND REQUEST. This OFFER is very appreciated...

[King-Clod]

[CUDDLE_MONSTER]: oh the floral furniture sounds really pretty! it does sound like a pain to mail, though! maybe just some nice decorative pillows/cushions?

[sarcovyn]

[LURKING_BUTCHER]:
More than HAPPY to PROVIDE... I have a CUSHION where the FLOWER PATTERNS cover its entire SURFACE... and another with ONE BIG FLOWER that's outlined in BEADS... perhaps it is of INTEREST to you...

I would be MORE THAN HAPPY to accept the SKULL LIGHTS and MUSIC BOX... if you would like I can also send a FLORAL FOOT STOOL... I think it will FIT in the MAIL...

[King-Clod]

[CUDDLE_MONSTER]: oh yeah those sound adorable! i can send the music box and skull lights your way, the cushion and beaded pillow sound great! and i think my roommate would really appreciate the footstool, she has trouble with high shelves sometimes

[skinstealer]

[TERROR_TIME]: 

my messiroom handle is the same as this...though i'll warn you that i can be a little intimidating in private conversation >:)

feel free to DM me, if you dare...

[King-Clod]

[CUDDLE_MONSTER]: i dont have a messiroom yet, i dont think, but i can make one! it'll be the same as on here, if you want to send me a message!

(OOC: I don't have a location for this character figured out quite yet, so we don't have to rp this convo, unless you think there'd be any complications with this trade that you'd want to rp)

[sarcovyn]

(( i don't know where haxel is either LMFAO, we can skip over. would you like to open an "empty" messiroom thread anyway in case of a "your character just feels like contacting mine randomly" situation ))

[King-Clod]

((oh sure, go ahead))