ALL MY HATS ARE GONE

[Lucy]

PLEASE, I BEG YOU, HELP ME FIND MORE HATS

THEY'RE COMING. NOT MUCH TIME. PLEASE.

[Zenthis]

have you checked under your chair

[King-Clod]

Anything can be a hat if you know how to fold well. Do you have paper? I can give you a short tutorial on how to make a paper hat. If you don't think you have enough time for that just put something on your head. Anything.

[victorianflorist]

What kind of hats?

[AceOfNothing]

Any paper? Maybe you can make one?

[Lucy]

What kind of hats?

HAT

Anything can be a hat if you know how to fold well. Do you have paper? I can give you a short tutorial on how to make a paper hat. If you don't think you have enough time for that just put something on your head. Anything.

YOU SOUND VERY KNOWLEDGABLE ON THE TOPIC OF HATS HOWEVER IN THIS ROOM THERE IS NAUGHT BUT A CHAIR BOLTED TO THE FLOOR, WHICH UNFORTUNATELY WOULD MAKE IT PART OF THE HOUSE, AND BEING UNDER IT WOULD MAKE THE HOUSE A LARGE ONESIE AND NOT A HAT.

have you checked under your chair

Oh no i hadn't thank you.

THERES A FUCKING SPIDER POINTING AT ME WITH A TINY HAT AND SCREAMING "NO HAT NO HAT NO HAT NO HAT" OVER AND OVER OH NO THEY'RE DEFINITELY GONNA GET ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[King-Clod]

well clearly we know the answer here.
make the spider your hat, double hat time
or take the spider's hat but that may be difficult it sounds very small

[AceOfNothing]

Does the chair have a cushion you can wear as a hat? Or anything else in the room at all?

[Pichi2214]

here's a hat for u

[Lucy]

well clearly we know the answer here.
make the spider your hat, double hat time
or take the spider's hat but that may be difficult it sounds very small

Ok.

A GEEZE IT JUMPED OFF AND IS NOW SAYING IT WILL NEVER SERVE AS A HAT FOR A FIEND AS HATLESS AS I. OH THE INHUMANITY OF IT ALL, OH THE TRAGEDY.

Does the chair have a cushion you can wear as a hat? Or anything else in the room at all?

Yes. I'll try that. There's also the door, but i don't think i can get it off the hinges without tools.

IT FELL OFF WHEN I MOVED OH NO THIS SIMPLY WILL NOT DO.

here's a hat for u
[snip]

Thank you, finally some good fucking hat. I'll fold this photo of a hat up into a paper hat. It may not be a high level hat, but it will keep them at bay for the time being! Thank you.

But not for long.

I still need a better hat.

Please help.

[King-Clod]

Is the door locked? Can you look for a better hat outside of this room?

[Lilium Mortem]

There is air on top of your head. ergo, you are wearing air as a hat. problem solved.

[AceOfNothing]

Can I ask who they are now or is hat still an issue too important for information

[Lucy]

Is the door locked? Can you look for a better hat outside of this room?

No this is my house. I can go outside any time i want. There's only one room though.

There is air on top of your head. ergo, you are wearing air as a hat. problem solved.

I am going to report you to them. A most profoundly unhat-like statement there friendo.

Can I ask who they are now or is hat still an issue too important for information

THEM are THEM. That's all there is to it! and they don't approve of such low quality hattering.

[King-Clod]

Now that you are hatted, can you to the hat store for a better hat? Or if you don't have enough money for hats such as those, maybe the hat soup kitchen?

[AceOfNothing]

There’s only one room outside? Is your house in a building? Can you see if the hat is in that room

[Lilium Mortem]

*THEY are THEM. proper grammar friendo. do you have shoelaces? if so try tying the pillow to your head with them. if not are you wearing any articles of clothing that may double as hats?

[Lucy]

Now that you are hatted, can you to the hat store for a better hat? Or if you don't have enough money for hats such as those, maybe the hat soup kitchen?

This is a fine plan, although i do not possess this "money" of which you speak i can obtain better hats at the hat soup kitchen. Yes.

There’s only one room outside? Is your house in a building? Can you see if the hat is in that room

Nono, my house, is a single room. Here, let me just step outside and describe my solid concrete cube hous- OH NO MY HAT!
IT HAS BEEN SWEPT AWAY IN THE BREEZE BY AN ERRANT GUST OF WIND. OH THE MISFORTUNE.

A MAN ACROSS THE STREET HAS SPOTTED ME IN MY HATLESS STATE, AND IS APPROACHING, WITH A BAT AND THEIR HAT. HELP.

[Lilium Mortem]

Run.

[King-Clod]

Desperate times call for desperate measures. How good are you fighting with your hands? Or, if you prefer, how fast can you run?

[AceOfNothing]

Charge

[Lucy]

Desperate times call for desperate measures. How good are you fighting with your hands? Or, if you prefer, how fast can you run?

Charge

Run.

OK I RAN DIRECTLY INTO THEM AND THEY FELL OVER, KNOCKING OFF THEIR HAT. THEY ARE NOW EVEN ANGRIER. SAYING THINGS LIKE "HATLESS FOOL, YOU WILL RUE THE DAY". HELP.

[AceOfNothing]

Steal their hat and run. They will rue calling you a fool, now they are the hatless fool

[Pichi2214]

Take their hat and put it on, then they are the hatless fool

[King-Clod]

Give them their hat back. Not really your style.

[BlueCrowned]

here you go Lucy

[Clockwork Citrus]

You need a fancy little hat with a big feather. Can you find one of those?

[Lilium Mortem]

(don't know if this is still going, but I got inspired by a spam bot lol)
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