CREATUREFEST JULY 2025

[knux400]

Welcome back to the Bot Arena! Today's match is against Singularity and Paradigm of The Workshop. And let's just rip this band-aid off right away: We're going to have to cheat again.
 

"Aww, only two of you this time?"

As you can see, Singularity has the same armor as Schmoo currently does, as well the Torrika KR-2, a nailgun that essentially functions as an upgraded version of the Darsij. It has a higher rate of fire and deals more damage per projectile, giving it a far higher damage output. Its firing distance is very similar to the Darsij, having a maximum firing distance of 140 and a minimum firing range of 30. Unfortunately, that means that much like the Darsij, we can't beat this thing by getting too close- so that just leaves long distance as our only option. The weapon we originally cheated in for this purpose, the Raptor DT-03, only has half the total damage output of the Torrika, making it far too weak to be a viable option.
 

"Oooh, I like this one too. This looks fun."
"Yeah, well... maybe later. I just finished explaining why you can't use it this match."
[incoherent grumbling]

The Torrika KR-2 is available to us in the shop, but that would leave Schmoo with an identical loadout to Singularity, which means that she only has a 50% chance of winning a one-on-one engagement with them, and she wouldn't have any health left over to tackle Paradigm with. Sooooo we need to cheat in another sniper rifle.
 

"Oh that's a big gun. Are you sure that's okay for me to have right now?"

This rifle normally appears a bit later, but I added the word "prototype" to the name and I cranked the damage down significantly. As you can see, while the range is easily enough to stay outside of the Torrika's range, the damage per minute is significantly lower, making this a... hopefully reasonable option for this stage of the game. Let's see how Schmoo looks with her new less-than-legitimate weaponry!
 

"I dunno, dude, this still feels pretty powerful to me..."

And with that, we're ready for our match!
 

Oh. I just... did it on the first attempt. Maybe I went a bit overboard with the stats on this thing. Oh well, a win is a win, and I can go back and refine things later if I want. See you all next time!







"I told you."
"Quiet."