Discord
![[Image: cN2WFtc.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/cN2WFtc.png)
it’s october 22nd, 2019, and i’m rex mortis with today’s entry. rin’s doing better, but we’re still taking it easier...i don’t mind helping out with project things, though. i like making lists, and we have more than enough of those to do.
we got some questions already, so i guess i’m going to cover those…
we got some questions already, so i guess i’m going to cover those…
![[Image: sDoQbUO.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/sDoQbUO.png)
1011686 asks:
“What other ways are there for people to be multiple?”
we’re not experts on all the ways that people can be multiple, but we do know a few examples. i’ll do my best to recount a few that i have off the top of my head.
another way people can be multiple is median systems, which ironically enough is what we thought we were at first. if a DID/multiple system is a single body and brain with multiple identities, a median system is a single body and brain with multiple “facets”. one metaphor we used back in high school when we first started on our research binge was that a median system is like a jewel that shines a different color based on which side is reflecting light. rin’s first assumption was that other system members were simply alternate sides of them expressing themself, which is a pretty common median experience...but as it turns out, we’re definitely a lot more divided than that.
some median systems can also be more “blended”, with people sharing experiences and memories readily...sorry that i’m not the biggest expert on this sort of thing, it’s been a while and there’s probably better people who could explain medianship easier.
something we’re more directly familiar with is the concept of tulpas and thoughtforms- making a system member on purpose. technically anybody can do this, but it’s not something to take lightly. a lot of tulpa communities can promote really harmful mindsets, including making them for specific purposes or goals...this can end up not only harming the tulpa in question but backfire on the person making them as well. they’re wonderful people and can help bring companionship, but you have to go in prepared. we’ve got two of these in our system, ragdoll and atut.
endogenic systems/system members are a hot topic but worth mentioning as well- system members/systems that form without trauma. this can be due to a lot of reasons, some say spiritual, others unexplained, but it’s a thing that can happen. a lot of people will tell you that such a thing is impossible, but we’re pretty open minded about it- after all, if the brain can compartmentalize into different people in the first place, what’s to stop it from doing all kinds of weird shit? we have a few endogenic members as well, namely ezekiel, sadie, lull, frequency, mesquite, and aysh. it is possible they’re from trauma and we just don’t realize it yet, however...what’s important is they’re here now, with us, and get the care and love they need.
“What other ways are there for people to be multiple?”
we’re not experts on all the ways that people can be multiple, but we do know a few examples. i’ll do my best to recount a few that i have off the top of my head.
another way people can be multiple is median systems, which ironically enough is what we thought we were at first. if a DID/multiple system is a single body and brain with multiple identities, a median system is a single body and brain with multiple “facets”. one metaphor we used back in high school when we first started on our research binge was that a median system is like a jewel that shines a different color based on which side is reflecting light. rin’s first assumption was that other system members were simply alternate sides of them expressing themself, which is a pretty common median experience...but as it turns out, we’re definitely a lot more divided than that.
some median systems can also be more “blended”, with people sharing experiences and memories readily...sorry that i’m not the biggest expert on this sort of thing, it’s been a while and there’s probably better people who could explain medianship easier.
something we’re more directly familiar with is the concept of tulpas and thoughtforms- making a system member on purpose. technically anybody can do this, but it’s not something to take lightly. a lot of tulpa communities can promote really harmful mindsets, including making them for specific purposes or goals...this can end up not only harming the tulpa in question but backfire on the person making them as well. they’re wonderful people and can help bring companionship, but you have to go in prepared. we’ve got two of these in our system, ragdoll and atut.
endogenic systems/system members are a hot topic but worth mentioning as well- system members/systems that form without trauma. this can be due to a lot of reasons, some say spiritual, others unexplained, but it’s a thing that can happen. a lot of people will tell you that such a thing is impossible, but we’re pretty open minded about it- after all, if the brain can compartmentalize into different people in the first place, what’s to stop it from doing all kinds of weird shit? we have a few endogenic members as well, namely ezekiel, sadie, lull, frequency, mesquite, and aysh. it is possible they’re from trauma and we just don’t realize it yet, however...what’s important is they’re here now, with us, and get the care and love they need.
![[Image: sLXJB3l.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/sLXJB3l.png)
loddite asks:
“how yall doin”
uhh, things are kind of hectic right now. rin’s doing a bit better after some good news, and has been able to do some more work on forum things. we let them have the day with como to see how well they’re holding up, and aside from needing a nap to fend off some brain weirdness, things are looking up.
there’s still a lot of work to do right now, though, and we’re still going to juggle the front around for a good while, if not try to figure out a more frequent (and permanent) switching schedule.
“how yall doin”
uhh, things are kind of hectic right now. rin’s doing a bit better after some good news, and has been able to do some more work on forum things. we let them have the day with como to see how well they’re holding up, and aside from needing a nap to fend off some brain weirdness, things are looking up.
there’s still a lot of work to do right now, though, and we’re still going to juggle the front around for a good while, if not try to figure out a more frequent (and permanent) switching schedule.
![[Image: b2Zwv64.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/b2Zwv64.png)
shifter55 asks:
“I know you explained this in chat, but it seems like it would be good material for here: What was your first exposure to media written by other systems?”
our first exposure to media written by other systems was actually our first proper proper introduction to systems in general, which is a pretty rare thing. most of the time in media see system shit directly taken on in, it’s portrayed as the system being dangerous, murderous even...but somehow, aside from stuff that leaned more on the metaphorical end, we managed to have our first exposure be encouraging.
in freshman year of high school, we actually tackled on DID in our health class. it was completely out of left field, and mostly consisted of a talk show episode discussing a memoir made by a multiple system. from what we remember, it was wholly sympathetic, and the system in question (and his wife) was treated with respect.
we immediately went to order the memoir from our school library and pored over it, reading it multiple times before returning it. we were transfixed. there was something about it that resonated in a way we’d never felt before, something that made us go back again and again to certain passages and chapters.
one thing we’ve talked about on discord that stuck with us from this book was the author talking about how his wife took care of one of his kid system members, reading them stories before bed and having genuine love for the whole system.
we’d like to read that book again, someday.
“I know you explained this in chat, but it seems like it would be good material for here: What was your first exposure to media written by other systems?”
our first exposure to media written by other systems was actually our first proper proper introduction to systems in general, which is a pretty rare thing. most of the time in media see system shit directly taken on in, it’s portrayed as the system being dangerous, murderous even...but somehow, aside from stuff that leaned more on the metaphorical end, we managed to have our first exposure be encouraging.
in freshman year of high school, we actually tackled on DID in our health class. it was completely out of left field, and mostly consisted of a talk show episode discussing a memoir made by a multiple system. from what we remember, it was wholly sympathetic, and the system in question (and his wife) was treated with respect.
we immediately went to order the memoir from our school library and pored over it, reading it multiple times before returning it. we were transfixed. there was something about it that resonated in a way we’d never felt before, something that made us go back again and again to certain passages and chapters.
one thing we’ve talked about on discord that stuck with us from this book was the author talking about how his wife took care of one of his kid system members, reading them stories before bed and having genuine love for the whole system.
we’d like to read that book again, someday.
![[Image: Xz6nwNh.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/Xz6nwNh.png)
lastly, i found this list of questions to ask system members to get to know them… i figure it can’t be too bad for us to take on some of these.
gonna skip whatever’s inapplicable though, or too private, or whatever. adding a few for flavor as well.
gonna skip whatever’s inapplicable though, or too private, or whatever. adding a few for flavor as well.
![[Image: C0rPIkO.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/C0rPIkO.png)
name? Rex Mortis. me and the rest of the “rin splits” (really need a better name for that) all have names starting in R. no idea why we decided to go with that.
age? 23, i age with the body. technically i’ve had less than a year of my own life separated off as me, rex, from rin. age is weird.
pronouns? they/them, pretty strictly. no other pronouns, please.
orientation? uh…probably ace? definitely still gray-aromantic (como only, no items, final destination) and i honestly don’t even have relationships with other system members. the ace thing though, i dunno! rin’s gray ace and i definitely at least have that, but i honestly feel like i could just be full on ace at this point. who knows.
species? skinstealer, specifically one that looks like a weird...dog...boss monster. rin says i look like something out of bloodborne. we’ve never played bloodborne. i’m also probably dead?
[b[hobbies?[/b] if i spent more time out in the front, i’d probably read more. i also think science is pretty neat, and i actually like organizing things quite a bit. i like lists. a lot. aside from that, i mostly sit around in headspace and think. i’m not very exciting.
favorite color? purples and blues, mostly. gentle colors. super bright ones kind of make my head hurt, which is a weird change. that’s splitting for you.
favorite food? no ideas if my tastes changed since splitting, but i really like...burgers, i think. rin split a reeses cup with me earlier and that was pretty good too. i think i’m a chocolate person.
age? 23, i age with the body. technically i’ve had less than a year of my own life separated off as me, rex, from rin. age is weird.
pronouns? they/them, pretty strictly. no other pronouns, please.
orientation? uh…probably ace? definitely still gray-aromantic (como only, no items, final destination) and i honestly don’t even have relationships with other system members. the ace thing though, i dunno! rin’s gray ace and i definitely at least have that, but i honestly feel like i could just be full on ace at this point. who knows.
species? skinstealer, specifically one that looks like a weird...dog...boss monster. rin says i look like something out of bloodborne. we’ve never played bloodborne. i’m also probably dead?
[b[hobbies?[/b] if i spent more time out in the front, i’d probably read more. i also think science is pretty neat, and i actually like organizing things quite a bit. i like lists. a lot. aside from that, i mostly sit around in headspace and think. i’m not very exciting.
favorite color? purples and blues, mostly. gentle colors. super bright ones kind of make my head hurt, which is a weird change. that’s splitting for you.
favorite food? no ideas if my tastes changed since splitting, but i really like...burgers, i think. rin split a reeses cup with me earlier and that was pretty good too. i think i’m a chocolate person.
![[Image: vQgXx7c.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/vQgXx7c.png)
did you go to school? unfortunately yes, though i have some pleasant memories of actually learning things. note taking was also pretty alright, i found it soothing in a sense...memorization, not so much.
really is weird to pick out what’s “mine” from rin and i’s (and i guess ransom and remus as well) shared memories, though.
do you have a favorite memory? uh...probably when we met como for the first time in person, that’s at least up there quite a bit. bad circumstances to that one and we were an anxious wreck, but it was still a nice day spent with the person we care about most.
yeah, i’m gay, keep scrolling.
what is one thing you wish people understood about you? it’s kind of tricky, having come from one of the most active members (if not the most active) in the system and being pretty much solely internal now. i miss people, of course i do, but i also like having the time to think and process my own brain stuff, away from the stressors of the outer world...which there are a lot of. a whole lot of.
do you know other people in this system? yeah, i know pretty much everybody. i keep to myself, though.
really is weird to pick out what’s “mine” from rin and i’s (and i guess ransom and remus as well) shared memories, though.
do you have a favorite memory? uh...probably when we met como for the first time in person, that’s at least up there quite a bit. bad circumstances to that one and we were an anxious wreck, but it was still a nice day spent with the person we care about most.
yeah, i’m gay, keep scrolling.
what is one thing you wish people understood about you? it’s kind of tricky, having come from one of the most active members (if not the most active) in the system and being pretty much solely internal now. i miss people, of course i do, but i also like having the time to think and process my own brain stuff, away from the stressors of the outer world...which there are a lot of. a whole lot of.
do you know other people in this system? yeah, i know pretty much everybody. i keep to myself, though.
![[Image: SHsdLxl.png]](https://homebrewdeviants.com/static/imgur_mirrors/SHsdLxl.png)
what helps you when you are sad? uh...i guess i try to think about positive things, and remind myself that they’re here and real, just as real as the sad things. it’s really hard for me to ground myself, but that works best.
what helps you when you are angry? i’m not rrreally an angry person, aside from turning things inward...i don’t really know how to manage that, not yet.
what helps you when you feel shame? i can shrug shame off pretty well, actually? rin has trouble with it, so it’s kind of weird that i can deal with it okay. i don’t really feel shameful about my conditions, more just...anxious. more worried about how it makes me look than whether it makes me count as a bad person or whatever...does that count as shame, actually?
what helps you when you feel overwhelmed? when do i not feel overwhelmed, haha...even just writing this, i got an anxiety spike due to unrelated shit...i’m a very anxious person and am one of the few people in system who actually gets defined anxiety attacks. deep breathing helps, even if it feels a little silly.
what comforts you? cop out answer is our partner como, though at least half of the system would agree there. aside from that, finding music that can calm me down or aforementioned deep breathing helps a lot. i do have a lot of more...self destructive coping mechanisms that i’m working my way out of with time, but i don’t think those really qualify as comforts so much as things i have to get through.
what helps you when you are angry? i’m not rrreally an angry person, aside from turning things inward...i don’t really know how to manage that, not yet.
what helps you when you feel shame? i can shrug shame off pretty well, actually? rin has trouble with it, so it’s kind of weird that i can deal with it okay. i don’t really feel shameful about my conditions, more just...anxious. more worried about how it makes me look than whether it makes me count as a bad person or whatever...does that count as shame, actually?
what helps you when you feel overwhelmed? when do i not feel overwhelmed, haha...even just writing this, i got an anxiety spike due to unrelated shit...i’m a very anxious person and am one of the few people in system who actually gets defined anxiety attacks. deep breathing helps, even if it feels a little silly.
what comforts you? cop out answer is our partner como, though at least half of the system would agree there. aside from that, finding music that can calm me down or aforementioned deep breathing helps a lot. i do have a lot of more...self destructive coping mechanisms that i’m working my way out of with time, but i don’t think those really qualify as comforts so much as things i have to get through.
![[Image: TCP%20customs.png]](https://pile.randimg.net/3/13/190751/TCP%20customs.png)
