ALL MY HATS ARE GONE

[Lucy]

Is the door locked? Can you look for a better hat outside of this room?

No this is my house. I can go outside any time i want. There's only one room though.

There is air on top of your head. ergo, you are wearing air as a hat. problem solved.

I am going to report you to them. A most profoundly unhat-like statement there friendo.

Can I ask who they are now or is hat still an issue too important for information

THEM are THEM. That's all there is to it! and they don't approve of such low quality hattering.