Discord
07-21-2020, 11:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-22-2020, 12:17 AM by AceOfNothing.)
Not super proud of this but Its done.
Cw: Referenced Deadnaming (not in a mean way, a character is adjusting), implied bullying, implied death, compulsive behavior
Dear Nicole
Dear Nikki
Dear Lumikki
Dear Lumi,
I know when we last spoke, I hesitated to call you that, but it's what you prefer now correct? Lumi from friends and family, Lumikki officially? I'm sorry, it's still new, I grew up with you as my little sister... is it just sibling now? Is that correct? Is that unprofessional, is it rude? I'm sorry, this isn't how I meant to start this. Ignore this.
No one has heard from you in months Lumi, I hope you and your partners are well. Do you just call them friends? Stop going on tangents Akane. Back to my point, it's been months since anyone heard from you. You haven't even met Maiden, yet here I am writing another letter about her to you. Gods this is pathetic.
I'm writing to tell you, well I'm not really writing to you, I can't you're in hiding, but I'm writing to you because its easier. I'm writing to give you another update on Maiden, I'm sure youd want to know about her if I could talk to you. You were so thrilled when I agreed to house a TCP, I could feel it through our letters. You wrote in a lighter blue than usual, your handwriting was sloppy, but you dotted your I's with snowflakes. Over the top, as usual.
Things with Maiden and I are... not great. I wish I could tell you differently, but I can't lie to even fake you. I don't regret getting a TCP for a lab partner, but her and I don't have the same ideals I thought we would. She always wants to leave and go exploring and talk to strangers and make friends and- I believe you get the picture. I think that's an issue with the labs honestly, they are good to the TCP but they can't fully prepare them for life outside. It can't fully prepare them for the kind of cats they'll be when they get out. Maybe I'm reading into this too much.
Maiden can be obnoxious, rude, violent, and incredibly stubborn. Shes constantly stumbling into dangerous situations without thinking, and won't listen to my warnings. You know what lurks in my area when you don't travel at the right times. I... I know I'm not perfect either. I have a hard time explaining myself without getting angry, I expect her to just... listen and understand I know what I'm doing. I try to plan everything, from when I eat to when I adjust my glasses, and I dont handle deviations from this well. I'm aware of my issues, I am trying, but Maiden doesn't want to listen. She won't try for me.
Reminds me of our teenage years honestly. You were a lot more social than I, you whined everytime we moved around, always made new friends, I wished I had that energy you had. But you never let me drag too far behind, always tried to include me, always made me feel like I deserved time too. I don't... I don't know if I've said it, but our fight destroyed me. I didn't know what to do without you. Everything was dark for so long...
You'll be back soon, right Lumi? You miss me? You'll visit? I'm sorry, this is the longest I haven't heard from you, this was supposed to be about Maiden.
She's out right now, trying to make friends in the town. She was supposed to be back ten minutes ago, but it is a long walk. Likely got a little lost. She stormed out this morning after I argued that jelly was not a suitable breakfast food. She's not wrong in this one though, I don't entirely understand TCP diets.
I'm not going to make her leave, if you're worrying. I... I think she may want to, but until she asks I'm happy to have her as my lab partner. Despite our differences, it is nice to have someone around. And she does enjoy helping with my work, although shes pretty bad with plants. I look forward to
A door slams, and Akane perks up. For a second he considers the possibility something is here, looking for him, but his eyes drift back to the letter. It's probably Maiden, already in her room.... house. It's a house really. He hadn't considered her size when she was coming, so they'd decked out the room with ladders to little sections. She wouldn't show him all of the rooms, said they were private.
Its... strange that she didn't come say hello. Theyd established early on that even when they fought, they both needed to know when the other was around. He waits.
And waits.
And waits.
Ten minutes of waiting is enough. He can check on her now? Yes that's reasonable. Ten minutes is enough.
He regrets rubbing his hand again his face after he does it, the noise getting to him. Curse his skin, curse his ears, curse his life donars who made him and then left him to deal with his body. His parents didn't exactly know how to handle him hating how his own skin sounded, bless them.
He has to ignore how it sounds when he gets up from his desk, has to ignore how it sounds when he walks. Has to count how many steps it takes to get to Maiden's room, making sure each foot takes an even number. He's never known why, but he does it, it's just a part of every day. It's fine, he's sure it's fine.
Six knocks. Maiden's name. He waits, no answer. Five knocks. His name. He waits, quiet shuffling, but no answer. One more knock, he hears sniffling, he runs his hands together and waits. The sound gets to him so he stops, but the sniffling seems louder. Not loud, it sounds muffled, but louder. Like it's closer.
"...Maiden?" He's trying
He swears he's try. He even built a smaller door on the larger door for her. Hes trying. "...Maiden Its really late, I'd like to know you're home?"
"I'm home." Her voice is close, but it sounds so quiet. It hurts something deep in his chest, or maybe his head. He feels like this might be his fault. She's seemingly sobbing now, into her pillow he guesses.
"I... I'm gonna sit down here, you can come out when you want to, okay Maiden?" He doesn't expect a response, just dusts off the ground by the door and sits down. He can stay here about... half an hour before it's too much. He starts counting the seconds in his head.
He only has to 195 seconds before he hears her walking down her stairs. Only has to wait another 77 for her to open the door. He waits three seconds before looking at her, eyes softening as he takes in her form. "Oh Maiden..."
Her dress is torn and stained, this one was new they'd just made it together, her face is scratched, seemingly from her own claws or something very similar, and her tail is bandaged. She looks up at him, head tilted so it seems like they're making eye contact, and breaks down sobbing again. He pulls her in, lifting her so shes against his chest, hugging her as best he can. He realizes the stains are fluid, her, and the tears seem like someone was ripping at the dress. There's small scratches on her arms, she shakes against him, he holds her closer. Has to close his eyes, has to count to ten, wants to scream and be angry at someone. Opens his eyes and examines her again, nothing deep, nothing bad, nothing-
Her tail is shorter.
"What happened Maiden? Please... tell me when you can." She cries harder. He counts, doesn't speak, it will make it worst. 300 seconds, she makes it to that exactly, then relaxes in his arm. Another ten, she pulls back slightly, then leans in again to rub her head against his coat. That's okay. Its Maiden. Hes okay with Maiden. He-
"They didn't want me hanging around anymore." She sniffs, wiping where tears would be, looking down at the ground away from him. "I was drawing with chalk in the park. They... they said I wasn't allowed there, I said I was. I... they pushed me down. Pulled at me, one of them grabbed my hand and- I was so stupid Akane. Stupid Stupid Maiden."
"You weren't stupid Maiden. It doesn't seem like they really gave you a chance to be." He lifts her up, bumping her head with his nose. She sits cross legged on his hand, minding her claws on his skin, she's so good at that. "Their lose really." Head tilt, sniffle, he tilts his back, "I happen to love when you're stupid with me."
She laughs, head tilting back slightly, because she always laughs more after crying. He laughs too, not as loudly, not as happily, but he does. Let her have this. Let her laugh. They can clean her up in a bit. They can fis her tail. They can do a lot. Right now it's just them. Right now that's what they need.
"He's... he's gone Akane. I can't- I can't do anything, hes just gone and-"
"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's okay I promise. Come here."
"I missed you. I missed you so much."
"I missed you too."
"It hurts Akane. It hurts so much."
"It's okay. We all know this can happen. Gods, this is the price we pay for continuing our work. But someone has to."
"I miss him."
"I know Lumi, I know. I... I do too."
~☆~
"..."
"Trevor."
"Maiden."
"Good to know you're alive."
"Good to see you somehow got someone to tolerate you."
Cw: Referenced Deadnaming (not in a mean way, a character is adjusting), implied bullying, implied death, compulsive behavior
Dear Nicole
Dear Nikki
Dear Lumikki
Dear Lumi,
I know when we last spoke, I hesitated to call you that, but it's what you prefer now correct? Lumi from friends and family, Lumikki officially? I'm sorry, it's still new, I grew up with you as my little sister... is it just sibling now? Is that correct? Is that unprofessional, is it rude? I'm sorry, this isn't how I meant to start this. Ignore this.
No one has heard from you in months Lumi, I hope you and your partners are well. Do you just call them friends? Stop going on tangents Akane. Back to my point, it's been months since anyone heard from you. You haven't even met Maiden, yet here I am writing another letter about her to you. Gods this is pathetic.
I'm writing to tell you, well I'm not really writing to you, I can't you're in hiding, but I'm writing to you because its easier. I'm writing to give you another update on Maiden, I'm sure youd want to know about her if I could talk to you. You were so thrilled when I agreed to house a TCP, I could feel it through our letters. You wrote in a lighter blue than usual, your handwriting was sloppy, but you dotted your I's with snowflakes. Over the top, as usual.
Things with Maiden and I are... not great. I wish I could tell you differently, but I can't lie to even fake you. I don't regret getting a TCP for a lab partner, but her and I don't have the same ideals I thought we would. She always wants to leave and go exploring and talk to strangers and make friends and- I believe you get the picture. I think that's an issue with the labs honestly, they are good to the TCP but they can't fully prepare them for life outside. It can't fully prepare them for the kind of cats they'll be when they get out. Maybe I'm reading into this too much.
Maiden can be obnoxious, rude, violent, and incredibly stubborn. Shes constantly stumbling into dangerous situations without thinking, and won't listen to my warnings. You know what lurks in my area when you don't travel at the right times. I... I know I'm not perfect either. I have a hard time explaining myself without getting angry, I expect her to just... listen and understand I know what I'm doing. I try to plan everything, from when I eat to when I adjust my glasses, and I dont handle deviations from this well. I'm aware of my issues, I am trying, but Maiden doesn't want to listen. She won't try for me.
Reminds me of our teenage years honestly. You were a lot more social than I, you whined everytime we moved around, always made new friends, I wished I had that energy you had. But you never let me drag too far behind, always tried to include me, always made me feel like I deserved time too. I don't... I don't know if I've said it, but our fight destroyed me. I didn't know what to do without you. Everything was dark for so long...
You'll be back soon, right Lumi? You miss me? You'll visit? I'm sorry, this is the longest I haven't heard from you, this was supposed to be about Maiden.
She's out right now, trying to make friends in the town. She was supposed to be back ten minutes ago, but it is a long walk. Likely got a little lost. She stormed out this morning after I argued that jelly was not a suitable breakfast food. She's not wrong in this one though, I don't entirely understand TCP diets.
I'm not going to make her leave, if you're worrying. I... I think she may want to, but until she asks I'm happy to have her as my lab partner. Despite our differences, it is nice to have someone around. And she does enjoy helping with my work, although shes pretty bad with plants. I look forward to
A door slams, and Akane perks up. For a second he considers the possibility something is here, looking for him, but his eyes drift back to the letter. It's probably Maiden, already in her room.... house. It's a house really. He hadn't considered her size when she was coming, so they'd decked out the room with ladders to little sections. She wouldn't show him all of the rooms, said they were private.
Its... strange that she didn't come say hello. Theyd established early on that even when they fought, they both needed to know when the other was around. He waits.
And waits.
And waits.
Ten minutes of waiting is enough. He can check on her now? Yes that's reasonable. Ten minutes is enough.
He regrets rubbing his hand again his face after he does it, the noise getting to him. Curse his skin, curse his ears, curse his life donars who made him and then left him to deal with his body. His parents didn't exactly know how to handle him hating how his own skin sounded, bless them.
He has to ignore how it sounds when he gets up from his desk, has to ignore how it sounds when he walks. Has to count how many steps it takes to get to Maiden's room, making sure each foot takes an even number. He's never known why, but he does it, it's just a part of every day. It's fine, he's sure it's fine.
Six knocks. Maiden's name. He waits, no answer. Five knocks. His name. He waits, quiet shuffling, but no answer. One more knock, he hears sniffling, he runs his hands together and waits. The sound gets to him so he stops, but the sniffling seems louder. Not loud, it sounds muffled, but louder. Like it's closer.
"...Maiden?" He's trying
He swears he's try. He even built a smaller door on the larger door for her. Hes trying. "...Maiden Its really late, I'd like to know you're home?"
"I'm home." Her voice is close, but it sounds so quiet. It hurts something deep in his chest, or maybe his head. He feels like this might be his fault. She's seemingly sobbing now, into her pillow he guesses.
"I... I'm gonna sit down here, you can come out when you want to, okay Maiden?" He doesn't expect a response, just dusts off the ground by the door and sits down. He can stay here about... half an hour before it's too much. He starts counting the seconds in his head.
He only has to 195 seconds before he hears her walking down her stairs. Only has to wait another 77 for her to open the door. He waits three seconds before looking at her, eyes softening as he takes in her form. "Oh Maiden..."
Her dress is torn and stained, this one was new they'd just made it together, her face is scratched, seemingly from her own claws or something very similar, and her tail is bandaged. She looks up at him, head tilted so it seems like they're making eye contact, and breaks down sobbing again. He pulls her in, lifting her so shes against his chest, hugging her as best he can. He realizes the stains are fluid, her, and the tears seem like someone was ripping at the dress. There's small scratches on her arms, she shakes against him, he holds her closer. Has to close his eyes, has to count to ten, wants to scream and be angry at someone. Opens his eyes and examines her again, nothing deep, nothing bad, nothing-
Her tail is shorter.
"What happened Maiden? Please... tell me when you can." She cries harder. He counts, doesn't speak, it will make it worst. 300 seconds, she makes it to that exactly, then relaxes in his arm. Another ten, she pulls back slightly, then leans in again to rub her head against his coat. That's okay. Its Maiden. Hes okay with Maiden. He-
"They didn't want me hanging around anymore." She sniffs, wiping where tears would be, looking down at the ground away from him. "I was drawing with chalk in the park. They... they said I wasn't allowed there, I said I was. I... they pushed me down. Pulled at me, one of them grabbed my hand and- I was so stupid Akane. Stupid Stupid Maiden."
"You weren't stupid Maiden. It doesn't seem like they really gave you a chance to be." He lifts her up, bumping her head with his nose. She sits cross legged on his hand, minding her claws on his skin, she's so good at that. "Their lose really." Head tilt, sniffle, he tilts his back, "I happen to love when you're stupid with me."
She laughs, head tilting back slightly, because she always laughs more after crying. He laughs too, not as loudly, not as happily, but he does. Let her have this. Let her laugh. They can clean her up in a bit. They can fis her tail. They can do a lot. Right now it's just them. Right now that's what they need.
"He's... he's gone Akane. I can't- I can't do anything, hes just gone and-"
"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's okay I promise. Come here."
"I missed you. I missed you so much."
"I missed you too."
"It hurts Akane. It hurts so much."
"It's okay. We all know this can happen. Gods, this is the price we pay for continuing our work. But someone has to."
"I miss him."
"I know Lumi, I know. I... I do too."
~☆~
"..."
"Trevor."
"Maiden."
"Good to know you're alive."
"Good to see you somehow got someone to tolerate you."
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