[SIDESTORY] Morbit Oneshots

[skinstealer]

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Session- 2020
Ringor Mortis, Memoirs
CW: Death, ableism, abuse
Somnia attempts therapy.

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You look across the room at the TCP sitting there, watching as she clicks her pen and scribbles down notes. You stiffen, not sure what she could possibly be writing- you haven’t even said anything yet.

DR. SOOTH: Somnia.
SOMNIA: ….
DR. SOOTH: You’re going to have to talk to me if you want to make the most of therapy. 
SOMNIA: I know. 
DR. SOOTH: This is a safe place to speak your mind, get things off your chest- I’m here to help you. Nothing you say leaves this room. No one’s going to hear this but me and you.

That’s decidedly untrue, so you stay silent. Your therapist sighs, writing down another note. 

DR. SOOTH: You scheduled this appointment saying it’s a crisis. I need to know what you’re going through if I’m to help you work through this, and your message earlier has me worried. 
SOMNIA: What about it was worrying? I stated that I needed an appointment. 
DR. SOOTH: With what’s been happening in your life recently, I just...

You’re pretty sure you left a straightforward message, nothing alarming about it. From the look Dr. Sooth is giving you though, you’re equally pretty sure she has other ideas. 

DR. SOOTH: Do you think you’re detaching from the world to try and deal with grief? Dissociation, even?
SOMNIA: I don’t know. I wouldn’t know.
DR. SOOTH: You’ve barely spoken a word to me since you joined our clinic, and we’ve spent the past few sessions in silence, even though you expressed to me that your case was drastic on the phone. And to get your message earlier…
SOMNIA: It’s hard to explain. I don’t know if I can.

She massages her forehead, trying not to look as frustrated as she likely feels. You can’t help but get the feeling that frustration isn’t the best trait for a therapist, but to be fair, she’s right on you not talking much. You couldn’t blame her much.

DR. SOOTH: I want to work with you, Somnia.  
DR. SOOTH: But you have to let me in. Please.

You hesitate, feeling a cold chill on your shoulder. 

SOMNIA: ...why don’t us TCPs have funerals?
DR. SOOTH: Pardon?
SOMNIA: Funerals, burial rites. Any sort of ceremony.
DR. SOOTH: Well, we don’t leave corpses when we die.
SOMNIA: What about capturing the shreds and scraps in a jar, or something? I know some complexes do that. Why not us?
DR. SOOTH: Some TCP cultures do practice that, but-
SOMNIA: But what?
DR. SOOTH: From my understanding of it, due to the circumstances of your partner’s death, that wasn’t possible. By the time people able to handle TCP-related crimes arrived on the scene, your partner’s shreds were scattered to the wind. 
DR. SOOTH: You were waiting for hours, Somnia. You’d need near-immediate collection for that kind of thing to work out for a TCP. It’s better suited to those suffering from illness, where they’re in a contained environment, instead of-
SOMNIA: Instead of a murder.
DR. SOOTH: ...yes. Instead of that. 
SOMNIA: And what about the scraps?
DR. SOOTH: Scraps aren’t scientifically proven to exist, and even if they did, they’d probably be blown to the wind just as easily.
SOMNIA: And what if they weren’t?
DR. SOOTH: Then I suppose it’d be a pile of scraps, or however they cluster.

The cold chill spreads to your entire back, and you can hardly stand it. 

You’re hesitating. Just the same as it’s always been.

SOMNIA: And what if they clustered enough to form something?

Dr. Sooth takes a deep breath, or at least the closest gesture to doing so, and tries to remain composed. 

DR. SOOTH: Ghosts aren’t real, Somnia. If you’re experiencing symptoms of...haunting, I suppose, it’s more likely to be, well, psychosis, or vivid flashbacks. Hallucinations after traumatic events aren’t uncommon-
SOMNIA: I don’t think I’m psychotic. 
DR. SOOTH: I’m not saying that you are, I’m just stating that we know for a fact that scrap ghosts aren’t real.
SOMNIA: Some regions have them marked as citizens.
DR. SOOTH: And those regions have very specific spiritual practices that do not exist over here. If you were to convert, I would support you in it, but I feel as if you entertaining the idea of a ghost- the ghost of your recently murdered partner, no less, is a coping mechanism to deal with the grief. 
SOMNIA: He’s not a coping mechanism. 
DR. SOOTH: So you believe that there is a ghost, then.
SOMNIA: Yes. 
DR. SOOTH: And is said ghost in this room right now?
SOMNIA: Yes.
DR. SOOTH: And what is it doing?
SOMNIA: He.
DR. SOOTH: What is he doing, then?
SOMNIA: He’s holding me. 
DR. SOOTH: And why is that?
SOMNIA: He doesn’t want me to run away. He wants me to talk about him. 
DR. SOOTH: Would you run away, if given the chance? Do you want to leave this session?
SOMNIA: Very much so. 
DR. SOOTH: You shouldn’t run away from your treatment, Somnia. It’s important that you work through this grief and sit in your feelings. 
SOMNIA: I don’t think I have a choice to not sit in my feelings, considering there is a ghost holding me hostage. 
DR. SOOTH: Hostage?
SOMNIA: I can’t do anything without his say. 
SOMNIA: He made me make this appointment. 
DR. SOOTH: Why?
SOMNIA: Because if I did, you’d say that I’m making it up, and he’d win. 
SOMNIA: He wants proof that no one will believe me. 
SOMNIA: And he got it now, so.
SOMNIA: I guess that’s that.

There’s no more talk, after that. She has nothing to say, and neither do you. You stand up and walk out, and don’t bother making another appointment at the front desk.

This is something you’re going to have to handle on your own.