[SIDESTORY] Morbit Oneshots (18+)

[skinstealer]

Marinade - 2020
Ringor Mortis + B. Comorant, Punch Clock Animal/Universal Constants
No content warnings
Charon gets Maes to try something new. 

---

Maes collapsed into her chair, taking in the silence of her apartment. Today's work had been hard, harder than usual, and she was starting to wonder why she even bothered with the job. She wished someone could take all this away from her, even if only for a moment.

She'd give anything for that.

Charon of course was already settling into the room to prepare dinner, his recently found employer being surprisingly quick to welcome him in despite their rough initial meeting. 

"Boss, you don't have any allergies of sorts do you?"

"No. I'm capable of eating nearly any substance known to sapience."

"Mm. I plan to make something that can be called more than a mere substance. I take it you prefer your meat a little closer to rare?"

"...what's wrong with my usual dinner?"

“Nothing, but if you don't mind too much I'd like to expand your palette just a little."

"I'm fine with the usual." She tilted her head back towards the sound of his voice. "There's no need to expand any palettes."

"I assure you, give me the opportunity and you will not regret it." He pulled out a crate with slabs of meat in a marinade and started taking measures with the stove.

 "...fine. But if it isn't to my tastes, I'm insisting we keep to my regular diet."

"It'll be fine, I promise you. Once you smell it cooking you'll want to try it."

"Mm." She leaned over her desk, reaching into her bag and taking out some paperwork. It always seemed to pile up more and more with each day, an endless stream of things for her to file and Charon to translate into common.

Charon dropped a slab on the pre-heated pans and oils, making a intense sizzling sound on contact. "I was trained to personally cook for employer and those within their circle so I do not plan to give you anything that could not pass at a reasonably decent restaurant."

 "I remember that from your resume. It wasn't really relevant to my needs, but I took note of it."

"You read through all of it yes? There's quite a few perks you have yet to take advantage of with a contractor, let alone a knight assistant."

"I like to think of myself as a fairly straightforward person." She said, without a hint of sarcasm. "I eat the same thing and I don't complain, and I keep to the bare essentials. I only take what I need."

"You could do better than that, someone in your position merits enjoying a homecooked meal after a hard day and... admittedly today was somewhat that."

"I've never needed that kind of treatment."

"You can be forgiven for wanting it."

"Forgiven by who, you?"

 "Whoever has you worried you're committing a crime."

"I- I'm not worried about that." She puffed up a little, defensive.

"Why is it so hard to enjoy things for yourself then?"

She didn't respond to that, hunching further over her paperwork.

"I assure you, once you've had a real meal you may find it difficult to return to the way things were. Come closer, take a whiff for yourself and you'll understand." He flipped the steak.

"I'm neck deep in paperwork, Judgment."

"Take a whiff then."

She leaned back, inhaling. Her ears perked up, her interest clear.

Charon’s smirk could be felt from across the room. "Good, isn't it?"

"It's...what is it?"

"I marinade meat from the cafeteria overnight using seasonings I picked up from local stores in the city next to us. It was a bit of a trip but I've stockpiled well. It's almost if you're ready to take a break to eat."

"That soon?"

"It's a little rare for your sake, I know you'd be adjusting to something new so I don't want to deviate so hard."

 "..." She set down her work, rising from her chair. "At the table, yes?"

"Mm, I'll set it shortly, you just get comfortable."

She walked over and settled down, coiling her tail around the kitchen chair.

"Just give me one more moment."

"Take your time."

"So I must wonder, why did you hire me over anyone else in line?"

"You were the most qualified. Most of the applicants barely scratched the surface of what we require, even in a contractor."

"And what did it for me? What defined me as qualified?"

"Your resistance to horror was a big draw, for one. We need someone to be able to clear out our underground floor without risking damage from the leaks."

"Even though it would be cheaper to find someone who lacked such a property?"

"Cheaper only in paycheck. Anyone not resistant would surely mutate and potentially even die, and that would cost us far more in the long run. I have no interest in being responsible for someone's death, Judgment."

"Mm. You know the rumors about this place make it seem like it'd be the other way around, I'm curious why they exist."

"It's best not to get involved in gossip." She tapped her claws on the table. "Though I do wonder what you've heard."

"That there's a well to hell at the lowest levels, that the one in charge could eat someone twice her size, and that many of the desert horrors come from here."

"And what do you think of these rumors?"

"Well... you're shorter than I pictured from all the stories."

"Mm." Her ears flopped back.

"Some of those also mentioned heat vision though which I don't have any way to confirm or deny yet."

"I do not have heat vision."

"I take you have heard some rumors about my line at some point too."

"I don't get out enough and I don't pay attention to gossip." She crossed her arms. "Feel free to entertain me with them, however."

"The problem is half of them are true."

"And perhaps the same could be said of mine."

"Which half?"

"That's for you to find out."

"Mm... well for now I could perhaps confirm one." The dog slid a pile of steaks onto the table on a plate.

"Are you looking to find if I can eat twice my size?"

"Maybe, or perhaps something else. Do you need a fork?"

"I'm expected to have one."

"Do you want one?"

"...no."

"Go right ahead."

Maes reached forward and took one of the steaks, flashing her teeth before taking a huge chomp. Charon’s tail flicked, filled with anticipation to see her reaction. 

Her sockets widened, enough to be seen through the bandages. Unable to contain himself, Charon’s tail full on wagged.

"This is..." She didn't have any words, taking another bite and polishing off the entire rest of the steak.

"Good , yes?"

"It's...I've never had anything like it."

"Have you never eaten cooked food?"

"...no."

"...Seriously? How?"

"I've kept to what I needed."

"It's healthier to eat it cooked."

"For some, yes. For me, it makes little difference."

"Because of your rather unusual biology."

"Correct."

"It counts even if it's a fraction of a percentage safer for you."

"Such a small statistic matters to you that much?"

"It's optimal and it's not too difficult. Plus your mood seems to have improved a little and that means something as your assistant and knight."

"You shouldn't base your own happiness on the mood of others." She lacked a little conviction in her words, clearly enjoying the hell out of her steaks.

"Mm, I disagree, Letting someone else's excitement rub off on you is free and  can be no harm."

"Relying on others like that is unpredictable, though."

"Perhaps. Two birds with one stone is never a bad thing however, and it spreads fast."

"Mm. I suppose." She got back to her steaks, only stopping to take a quick drink.

"It also genuinely just makes me feel good to see someone enjoy my cooking in general, if you would prefer I take the more selfish angle. Makes me the slightest more confident."

"You deserve that confidence...I have to admit that you were right about cooked meals."

"Hearing that from you will carry me the whole week... shall I continue to do this then? At least after shift?"

"I'd be fine with that change, though you know it's not required by your contract."

"I try to perform well enough that I'm considered when another perfect job for me comes up. Having jobs available at almost all times does wonders for your pockets and need to keep busy."

"A jack of all trades, then." She paused in her meal. "Do you consider yourself to be a master of none?"

"I consider myself a master of very specific things that I pray to god never come up during this job."

"May I ask you to elaborate?"

“Interaction with entities that lack existing category would be the best way to put it. I'm quite well equipped and experienced in that regard. You would not believe the things I've dealt with since I took up the family grind as a knight."

"Try me."

 "......Angels."

"The mythical cryptids."

"They're certainly not, took the function out of one of my eyes. They left me leaking shreds like a bad roof in rain. My limbs had to be modified to accommodate that issue or my body would freeze itself."

She fell quiet for a few moments. "...while I have trouble believing anything to do with what people call magic, it's clear that what you experienced left an effect on you. I apologize for my rudeness."

"I've taken no offense, it's hard to believe really. If it would make it easier to stomach, think of it as... the worst timeline version of a horror crawling out of a well. It makes it less fantastical but that's certainly more in line with what you'd like to hear yes?"

"Horrors I can believe, so yes. We have scientific proof of those, laying right below our feet at that."

"Think of them as.... horrors who have gone very wayward by horror standards."

"How are they similar?"

"They change things around radically, they imitate the local people, and they're less than ideal to keep around a mass populace. A lot more prone to schemes though, hundred years of planning tier schemes which... sounds ridiculous I'm sure but these ones had it out for my family in particular."

"I can't begin to fathom a horror making plans."

"Imagine a horror that replaced a whole town with duplicates of itself all in on snuffing a few folks they have a grudge against.... but I suppose that's ruining the mood."

"You're fine. I've heard of worse." She hesitated. "Well, maybe not worse so much as equally terrible in different ways."

"Do you have a story?"

"None worth sharing."

"Perhaps another time then if you'd rather not. I'm glad you enjoy my cooking so much."

"Mm...it'll be hard to go back to my typical diet after this."

"I'll try to see that a member of the staff is equipped for this by the time my contract runs out... and I'd certainly be open to a new one if the offer and job are correct."

"I doubt I'd be able to trust another to prepare food for me. Should we part ways when your contract ends, I'd most likely return to my usual." She polished off the last steak, leaving her plate clean. "You are an unlikely exception, Judgment."

The dog reached for her hand and tapped on it. "Should we part ways yes? You never know how much longer handling the basement floors may take."

She didn't pull away. "They are fairly vast. It's a large facility."

The dog made an attempt to hold her hand, feeling a bit brave.  "If this job goes well I may... consider a extension should it be offered. Of course that's your call."

She didn't react at first, slowly lacing her claws in between his fingers. "If your performance continues to exceed my expectations, I think that could be arranged."

 "I would greatly consider it." He wasn't able to keep his tail from wagging again, the clanking of its porcelain plates even more audible than before.

"I can hear your tail, you know."

"Ah.... pardon me."

"I don't think you were expecting the gesture returned, were you?"

“It was a coin flip as far as I'm concerned, I'm just satisfied with landing heads."

"Enjoy it while you can. My touch sensitivity will only hold out so long."

"Thank you, Boss."

"For?"

"For entertaining anything I've thrown out today and... for being willing to try out my cooking. I know it's quite a new concept for you. I wanted to make that good."

"You succeeded. Perhaps I should be more open to trying your ideas, whatever they may be."

"I'll try to drop the more tame ones first, you don't want to give me that much power."

"Would I have reason to worry?"

"We'll see. I'll never push you too hard I think though, I couldn't do that to my employer who signs my check."

"Don't think of it as part of the job. Think of it as...a personal favor."

"Oh, off the record?"

"Are you comfortable with that?"

"Mm, so long as you don't mind."

"I wouldn't mind taking some time with you away from work." She gave his hand the slightest squeeze, just enough to be felt and nothing more.

He returned the squeeze, grateful she couldn’t see the tinge of blush on his face. "Consider it granted."