[SIDESTORY] Morbit Oneshots

[skinstealer]

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Sign Here- 2019

B. Comorant, Crankshaft Rafflesian, takes place before comic's events

No content warnings

Two robots meet over paperwork.

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You rest in the bed of a local doctor's office. Staring down at you is a retro looking synthetic construct in uniform. You have probably made a mistake at some point in your life.

"Alexandra DeRambo?"
"Just call me Lex."
"I'm Dotty, here from the state dueling regulation guild."
"Ah."
She presses the flat of her pen against a stack of papers on clipboards and folders. 

Dotty: I need a few confirmations on a few events you've participated in today, if that's alright?
Lex: Uh....
Dotty: Were you in a fight or a duel? I need direct verbal confirmation before I continue here since there was no registration for it.
Lex: Dude was getting fussy and I let him take shots twice before hitting back. It's self defense. Fight.

She scribbled down.
Dotty: Good good, noted. You know you can call self defense after the first shot though.
Lex: I like to make sure I have witnesses.
Dotty: You know what? Fair. Any use of outside arms? 
Lex: Nope, guy had claws though.
Dotty: Did you cause any direct provocation? 
Lex: None.
Dotty: Motive?
Lex: Uh... disagreement.
Even though she can't really emote much, you can feel her look. 
Dotty: ...About?
Lex: You know TCP?
Dotty: I know of them.
Lex: Tiny Cat People.
Dotty: Yes, they're an invasive species.
Lex: So a friend of mine and I got our usual debate right? He thinks someone is making them, and I'm saying nobody can just be making that many.

She coughs to hide a rising cackle.

Lex: Some random jackass just slides in and starts going off about how cats have no feelings.
Dotty: Big cats or tiny cats?
Lex: Does it matter?
Dotty: First one is high really key offensive, second one gets you blacklisted by 40% of gods.
Lex: ...I feel like there's some weird priorities here.
Dotty: There's entire city states that haven't seen a regular cat, it's a region by region case like oranges in a bathtub laws. Sign and initial here to prove that we talked about this.

You do so.

Lex: Huh... am I going to be alright?
Dotty: Well, you bled quite a bit and your arm needed a couple of stitches. It's mostly superficial though. Nurse will probably tell you to take it easy I'm sure.
Lex: He knows I won't.
Dotty: Ah, you're a repeat visitor.
Lex: Yep. Guessing I'm in trouble though..
Dotty: Probably not. You got roughed up a lot worse, you didn't break dueling law, and you didn't break regional law so at this point all you need to worry about is your campus. I'm sure they'll understand though.

She fusses to organize her folders of paperwork for a moment.

Lex: Yeah....
Dotty: You know you have a lot of registered duels in your docs, I was checking earlier for reference. You don't do this for a living do you?
Lex: Nope.
Dotty: Then you're a hobbyist. 
Lex: You can say that.
Dotty: I can admire that. I used to do that sort of thing back in the day I think.
Lex: You think? 
Dotty: I'm pretty sure anyway. Head kinda just.
She made a gesture with her hands.
Lex: Bad memory?
Dotty: Gone memory. Rebooted, like reincarnating as yourself and not remembering your past life.
Lex: How long ago?
Dotty: Uh... not too long ago? Had to relearn a lot of stuff. Doesn't bother me all that much though.
Lex: Shoot.. what did it?
Dotty: You know what? I don't know but apparently I've just been in a tar pit for years and years this whole time and they had to go and clean me out and put my AI in cycling for a couple of decades and all.
Lex: Ah...
Dotty: Normally you just retire someone after that but I guess I used to be someone special so I got a second chance. 
Lex: You know, I'm kind of surprised you're so open. Like... I'd shut down hard if I was under that kind of pressure. How long you've been reactivated?

She pressed her pen flat against the mass of papers as she took a moment to do the math in her head.

Dotty: Uh.... 17 years of AI cycling and a year and 4 years installed.
Lex: So you're 21?
Dotty: I mean yes and no? My frame is apparently some hundred year old lost tech stuff that just doesn't exist anymore.  
Lex: Wild. 121.
Dotty: God please don't make me think about that. 
Lex: You know you could probably be 420 one day.
Dotty: Nooooo thank you. Don't think I'll hold up another 300 years in tar.
Lex: 300 minus 1. That penny could save lives you know?
Dotty: Pennies are tip jar change.
Lex: People need those.
Dotty: People don't need to be 420.
Lex: I do.
Dotty: You really don't! God, now you've caught me rambling in uniform.

Her voice was significantly more relaxed.

Lex: I won't tell on you, I'm having fun honestly. 
Dotty: Off the record? Same. I haven't talked to anybody proper outside of work in a good while. I guess technically I'm still working but...
Lex: If you're up for it, we can do more of this. I'm usually good for stuff during the evening. 
Dotty: Mm.If you name a spot I'll meet you after shift around 7-ish. 
Lex: Toasty Bernie's by the boardwalk?
Dotty: The sandwich place?
Lex: Yeah, that too far?
Dotty: Nope. As long as you're good for it.
Lex: Yeah, course I am. 
Dotty: Well then uh... I guess for now I'll just poke at the doctor to say I'm done here. Hopefully they'll let you out soon.
Lex: You'll show?
Dotty: Mm. I'll see you in a few hours.