SKINSTEALER SYNDROME

[skinstealer]

october 24th
18 minutes past midnight
headspace is being weird. recording it for posterity

i can feel my body but nothing around me. i don’t think i’m in my room. i can’t feel zoray either. i try to look around and there’s nothing but void. i hope this isn’t the pocket dimension where it dissolves you alive, but the void isn’t white, it’s pitch black. 

i don’t seem to be being attacked, or hurt, but i’m scared. i don’t know why i’m here and i don’t know when i’ll get back, or what’s going to happen to me. part of me wants to switch out but what happens if i do? do i lose connection to everyone entirely? what if no one can save me?

what if i disappear?

what if i shatter into a million pieces and fade into dust, or come back as someone new, someone unrecognizable? what if i’ve finally snapped, and this isn’t going to get better? what if this is how i’m stuck, sick and broken until i merge into someone else or split until there’s nothing left?

it’s so quiet here. i miss ransom and rex, they’ve been keeping me company. i keep listening to the same song over and over and i don’t even know if i like it anymore, it’s something to hold onto and keep me grounded, desperately.

i bet zoray misses me.

i always end up home though, somehow. i hope it happens soon.

until then, i float.