Crankshaft Rafflesian: We're Past the Tutorial Thank God!

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Lex: Really is nice out there. Lets go soon. Pretty hungry, didn't eat before we left.
Dotty: The doctor use any sort of anesthetics? Might be hard on you.
Lex: I... don't remember? Still missing an eye so I dunno. Outer casing got shattered but the lens made it out okay so it's easy to fix.
Dotty: That's good. You gonna go for anything new?
Lex: Nah, I can't pull off heterochromia.
Dotty: I think you'd look good.
Lex: More like a stray cat.
Dotty: Like a cat cat or a tiny cat or a cat person or.....
Lex: First one. Second one doesn't even got eyes.
Dotty: .....You sure?
Lex: They're eyespots. Meant to scare predators or something, least that's what makes sense. Had a friend who thought they were some kind of marketing ploy though.
Dotty: Weird.
Lex: Yeah. Said some kind of giant mountain sized cat grandma was creating them as a publicity stunt.
Dotty: You mean Kurt from when you were in college right?
Lex: Yeah, you remember him?
Dotty: Yeah, the hippie goth. I've talked to him a few times.
Lex: If he heard you call him that he'd feel stronger.
Dotty: I mean... that's what he was.
Lex: Yeah... wonder if he's still doing expedition.
Dotty: It's been more than two years so... probably not? Sure you could look him up.
Lex: Yeah. You got any old friends you haven't seen in awhile.
Dotty: I mean.... mostly because I don't want them to see me when I don't remember them.
Lex: Ah... yeah I made this into a bummer.
Dotty: You'll forget about it when we're out there.
Lex: Yeah?
Dotty: Yeah, you'll buy a giant glowstick or something and then you'll be lost in the lights.
Lex: Look, I don't shame you.
Dotty: I got nothing to shame.
Lex: I'll remind you when we're waiting in line for a fried gummy bear.
Dotty: Look.
Lex: Exactly.
Dotty: Now I really wanna go. You gonna be okay after everything today?
Lex: Yep, feeling good as can be.
Dotty: Just make sure to eyepatch up before you go alright? Empty sockets freak people out.
Lex: Yeah, I'll make sure to handle that. You brought cash?

Geezer: You don't gotta worry about that, got you both covered.

You both turn over to see the dog headed bastard at the doorway. You fish around your pockets for your eyepatch.


Dotty: Hoe.
Geezer: Yep, here with gift cards for all.... some restrictions apply. Don't uh, try spending these on a 300 dollar custom robe or something because they'll scream at you.
Dotty: How much?
Geezer: Enough hopefully, don't know if you two are heading out just now. Kinda cold so bring a jacket if you can. Play it safe too, people are shifty at night even at a family friendly theme park.
Lex: You sound like a mom.
Geezer: Never.
Lex: Like a bathrobe mom who watches crank news at 9 drinking wine.
Geezer: That's only a half truth. For real though, there's some wild stuff going on.
Lex: I mean it's tourists trying to milk their last hours.
Geezer: Nah like, weird stuff. Cowboy stuff.
Dotty: What's so bad about cowboys?
Lex: Yeah no what? That sounds cool.
Geezer: No like.. they're not normal cowboys.
Lex: Are they like monster cowboys or hot cowboys or....
Geezer: Well for one those things can overlap and-
Dotty: Cowboys can't be hot.
Geezer: That's objectively wrong, but let me finish.
Lex: Gotcha.
Dotty: Mm.



Geezer: There's a bunch of cowboys running around the parks but... they aren't part of the staff. They aren't a group of tourists. They just... roam. Awful bunch. Dress up in these big potato sack costumes with their hats and they they turn out to be these cosmic flesh abominations.
Dotty: Sounds fake.
Geezer: I'm serious, you see a cute small looking cowboy mascot you bail and call security.
Dotty: Shouldn't I intervene?
Geezer: I mean if you want to you can but you gotta go out in uniform.
Dotty: Yeah.... nah not today. So what are they?



Geezer: Awful. Shapeshifters and envoys of the end. Park security is monitoring for them but they're trying not to cause a fuss. Grotesque little rejected angels that got left on our little rock in the ocean. They aren't even native to the area so.. I guess they're a invasive species huh? Technically catagorized as a pest since they're small and easy to deal with but if they gather that's a issue.
Lex: I mean if they're small they should be easy to deal with right?
Geezer: You'd think but they're manipulative runts. All angels are.
Lex: You... you don't mean figuratively?
Dotty: Fill me in.
Geezer: Bad. Will literally unperson you if you die. But they're like babies so they can only really get you in a group.
Dotty: Okay yeah, no, fuck that.
Geezer: You're better off avoiding for now. If you see a big one, just bail. Get out as fast as possible, call security. They're dressed to blend but if you go to a shop owner they'll make the call quickly.
Dotty: And they're bad enough that you gotta warn us?
Geezer: Yeah. You're a knight Dotty so you're qualified for this but uh... if you do handle it quietly. A panic looks bad.
Dotty: I mean that's easy. 

You've found your eyepatch, you fuss to put it back on.


Geezer: The good news is the park's got a lot of feral possums to deal with most of the small ones so you're unlikely to have to worry much but once they reach over 2 feet tall it's a problem.
Lex: Is... is that like... another problem or....
Geezer: Nah, owners take care of them because they keep rodents from swarming after dark. It's a feature.
Dotty: Retroactively.
Geezer: Yeah. Just stay safe, you gotta be good for the fight this week.
Dotty: So uh.. are you gonna fight us both alone when it comes in?
Geezer: I mean I'll have a registered partner but they won't do shit so yeah. Have fun until then though.
Dotty: Mm.
Lex: 'Course.