Crankshaft Rafflesian: We're Past the Tutorial Thank God!

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Geezer: Well, now that we've established that we gotta do this one way or another, let me make something clear. I'm gonna make this legit with the least number of casualties. 
Dotty: I'm pretty sure at this scale of legal schlop this needs at least one casualty to end.
Geezer: Not of the match is settled by technicality. 
Dotty: That doesn't happen. Nobody rules for technicality outside of big viewership matches.
Geezer: That's what we're gonna do! .



Dotty: You're kidding. 
Lex: I high key don't mind dying in front of a crowd.
Dotty: Lex no.
Lex: I wanna scream real loud so the kids cry.
Dotty: Lex.
Lex: If it's a baby, bonus points so I can yell at the parents to get their kid out of the arena.
Dotty: What if they can't afford a babysitter?
Lex: Then their baby can wait in the lobby.
Geezer: Kid, that's like 3 hours these days. Nobody is gonna die if we do this right though.
Dotty: That sounds like match rigging.
Geezer: It's not match winning if it's a legit win by timer. If you got two bodies and time to know your opponent you can figure out a way to handle it.
Lex: Isn't it kind of unfair for it to be two on one?
Geezer: A duel can commence with absence of second if there's signed consent pre-match. I've seen your win loss records anyway so it balances out. Plus... we're gonna hook you up with some mods soon anyway.
Lex: We're going to a fancy doc?



Geezer: Nah but the place we're doing this at has a guy.
Lex: Where is it anyway?
Geezer: It's up north, neato little place I get the feeling you enjoy. You know the theme park? The super big one?
Lex: There's a few up there.
Geezer: The one with the Jalapeno rat.
Dotty: YO WHAT?
Lex: Sounds fake.
Geezer: If I'm gonna make you both pay for my grandma's old beef, I'm gonna compensate you both. Resort, week long. Time before and after the match. Both parks.
Dotty: YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.
Geezer: I got the hookup.
Dotty: God I can GUSH trivia on some of the shit that goes down there. You know about the hidden city? Or the supposed after hours wonders? Or all the haunted spots people threw ashes onto?
Lex: You gotta hook us up with that.
Geezer: Heh well... I can try but if you get the boot breaking something it's not on me.
Dotty: There's a hidden city of stray cats Lex. Lots of them and they're tiny. 
Lex: Please.
Geezer: I'll see what I can do. We're gonna stop for lunch first though, I got coupons.



Dotty: If you stop before we get to the toll both I will drop you onto the pavement
Geezer: I'm taking you to meet the real life monopoly man himself, all expenses paid. You kill me now and you'll never know where the frozen head is.
Dotty: ... I'm sorry.
Lex: ..Why is there a frozen head?
Dotty: You'll understand when you're older.
Lex: No, I wanna know why the most polarizingly beloved media empire in the world has a frozen head, and hidden cities, and tiny cats.
Geezer: We're there, can we all scoot inside before we go into this? I'm starved as shit. Now.