CREATUREFEST JULY 2025

[knux400]

Welcome back to another exciting installment of robot combat! Today's post will be a bit shorter, as there aren't any new weapons or armor appearing in this arena, but our match today is against King, Queen, and Jack of Spade's Battle Royale!
 

"Seems like someone's got a motif. I'm surprised we're not on a green velvet floor with like, roulette numbers or something."
"Do you know how expensive a velvet floor would be to maintain?"
"What, have you guys not invented bulletproof, fireproof, explosion-proof velvet yet?"

As you can see, the strategy here seems to be quantity over quality. While the weapons King, Queen, and Jack are packing aren't anything too special, the fact that there are now three of them will make it even more difficult for Schmoo to implement her usual strategy of isolating a single target. The good news is, though, we won't have to cheat for this fight! All three of our opponents are using Raptor weapons, which, as we know, have a minimum firing distance of 50 units. The Darsij, which we saw Sabertooth using last time and which is now available to us in the shop, has no such weakness. As long as Schmoo stays close, she'll be safe from retaliation.

"Yessssss, give me the machine gun..."

Of course, this won't be an easy feat, as she'll still have to maneuver around two other opponents while maintaining a very close distance to the first one, but at least there's a path to success here. This'll take us a while, so skip to 5:50 for the winning attempt. As you can see, our primary method of avoiding fire is to simply arrange the enemy team in such a way so that they block each other's bullets, and take cover behind their bodies after they've been destroyed. This reduces the amount of damage Schmoo takes from the other two robots while she pursues one, exploiting the gap in their firing distance.

See you next time!