[GAME] The House

[skinstealer]

+1 ITEM DISCOVERY
+1 MEMORY RECOVERY

Mist’s Journal

Day 12

…today was…strange.

I’m dealing with a lot of feelings. It feels almost wrong to write about them, but the same compulsion the three of us have been getting has struck again like clockwork…I feel like I have to, whether I really want to or not.

Shrump and I have been growing closer, and I don’t know how much I want to explore this. We’ve only known each other for a short time, realistically, and while we’re comfortable around each other to share a sleeping space and each other’s company while walking around, there’s so many things that could go wrong. I know that not all of my fears are rational, but…I don’t know. Maybe writing these things down will help me make sense of it…

The logistics of me being in a relationship, even if just casually, are…dicey. Admittedly, if it did come down to a situation where I needed to eat, they’d be able to regenerate…but…

I don’t know.

I guess a saving grace is that Shrump is. Well.

I don’t mean this unkindly. In fact, it’s a huge benefit and a load off my back.

But they’re…not very appealing as a meal. I know it must sound ridiculous that a cannibal is being choosy, but Shrump’s weird combination of shrimp flesh mixed with uncooked tempura batter on the inside is. I would rather not. Simon’s got the same thing going on with being partially made of fire, and I genuinely consider both of these to be advantages towards our party’s survivability. I can commit to not worrying about that.

Which raises the question- why am I still worried about it, then? If Shrump doesn’t even register to me as food then why am I so…torn up about the idea of this?

I guess the hard answer to that question comes with what happened in the lower levels of the observatory.

We were looking through a library full of star charts, seeing what’s out there- and boy, there is a lot. I would honestly be fine staying here for a while to read more things, even if it makes Simon antsy…even moreso after what he found.

The person who was here before us had some kind of gun hidden in one of the books, still loaded as well. Simon considered taking it with us until Shrump pointed out that he doesn’t have ammo for when it runs out, and that his knife would probably be safer. Simon confessed he doesn’t know how to use a gun anyway, and while it does feel like a bit of a sour grapes situation, I think it’s for the best. Getting near that thing did something to my head…

I remembered Hen, more. He always carried something like that around the house, and he did fire it at me. At least once.  I remembered the fact that he was cruel to me, and that I hurt him in kind before running. It was all I could do.

I couldn’t tell Shrump about it, even though I know they would understand. They’ve already told me I could tell them about any memories I recover, but…I wasn’t blameless in that relationship either. I don’t think I want to pursue things because I can’t just hide that my last one ended so disastrously, it wouldn’t be right. I don’t know…

We’re going to read more star charts after dinner tonight. I’ll likely end up sleeping next to Shrump again, and I’ll…do my best to figure out my feelings going forward in a way that doesn’t hinder our progress.

What a mess of an entry I've made.