Crankshaft Memory [Crankshaft Rafflesian Rework}

[ThreadLurkingComorant]

THERAPY SESSION: PART 1
CW: Discussion of Medical Abuse and Ableism.

 Lupe: Good to see you made it early enough to fill in paperwork. It’s not something people really like but you’re still a new client so there’s a few things to go over.

Lupe: I’ll be reading quietly and prompt if needed.

Lupe: The bulk of it is handled thankfully but we’ll do a little overview. Do you remember our first session?

Lex: A lot of intro stuff, kind of talking about past history, medication, all that.

Lupe: Mmhmm.  Did you work on what I asked you?

Lex: You wanted me to like, think about what sort of stuff I wanted to put focus into.

Lupe: Mmmm…

Lex: I mean I’ve got a few ideas but like…. I dunno. I guess There’s been a lot coming up lately.

Lex: Some of it involves parents and Jam and all..

Lupe: I have a session with Jam today after you, if they need to talk we’ll have plenty of time.

Lex: I’m kind of surprised you can do that?

Lex: Kind of a surprise in general really. Isn’t there like, all sorts of weird rules?

Lupe: A few. Two clients in the same household usually falls into conflict of interest but your case is one that’s unusual so..

Lex:  Meant more like, how can you book a session for both of us? Never heard of that sort of thing before…

Lupe: It’s a practice that Mori put into place, she’s had a surprising amount of personal history with others in you two’s position so she insisted on pushing for it if we can. Admittedly it’s a bit controversial with some…

Lex: Yeah… I mean I got my own troubles with past doctors.

Lupe: Mm. Is it okay if I ask? I figure it’d be good for the sake of avoiding the same pitfalls.

Lex: Yeah.

Lex: In the past I guess like…

Lex: I felt like if I said anything that made me look too weird or crazy I’d get hurt for it.

Lex: They made me forget about Jam for so long, pushed me until I was convinced they never existed. That was hella scary.

Lex: It was kind of a big push from my parents. It was heck easy for kids to get ahold of weird witch books and you know…

Lex: I got lonely, I really just wanted friends.

Lupe: Mm… Jam’s talked about as much.

Lex: The fact that you’re like, okay with giving us both separate sessions means a lot. I’m a little nervous still but that’s enough that like…

Lex: That I’m okay with trying therapy again.

Lupe: I can’t blame you, a bad experience is going to create a natural trauma response to not want to ever touch therapy again.

Lupe: It’s an incredibly vulnerable and asymmetrical experience that requires putting a lot of trust into a stranger on the belief that they’re a professional. But a license doesn’t instantly make them compatible with you, nor does it make them instantly good for the position in practice.

Lupe: You need to prove you genuinely are trying to work WITH your client.

Lex: Yeah… like.

Lex: I know I’m not perfect, but I don’t like the idea that I have to be fixed. I want to work on and improve things but like…

Lex: I don’t want to be seen as broken?

Lex: Hate feeling like everything about me’s a mistake, and I hate feeling like if I’m really honest and talk about what’s hurting I’ll get punished for it.

Lex: I dunno…

Lex: Especially bad when it came to my parents. Love them but like…

Lex: It felt like they just wanted to fish out reasons to be mad at me a lot.

Lupe: I promise you none of that’s going to happen. Everything here will be kept confidential between you and me…

Lupe: And well…

Lupe: To give you a much less clinical response, I feel you there.

Lupe: I’d be lying if that wasn’t a big motivation to get into the field myself.

Lex: I was wondering… you’re a knight too aren’t you? Why the side gig doing this? Like, the whole therapy thing

Lupe: Being a knight is about taking care of and serving the people. If all you do is fight, you’re a mercenary.

Lupe: A good knight has to be willing to do a variety of jobs in a community. Building morale, taking care of the physical and emotional needs of other, establishing expansion of programs for those who lack opportunities and resources, and overall empowering the people around.

Lupe: A community that feels secure in that regard is more likely to handle a time of crisis better than one who solely depends on armed protection.

Lupe: That’s why typically, a guild system should be designed around a feedback loop between itself and the people they support. If your local guild isn’t benefiting those around them, they should be easy to disband by cutting off their benefits. The last thing you need is a self serving militia.

Lupe: But I digress. I want to help you as best I can.

Lupe: If I ever overstep my boundaries, I want you to say something.

Lupe: If you feel like I’m not treating you with the decency that you deserve, you are free to walk out and tell everyone.  You are the one who is making the difficult choice to open up, to have to admit there are things about life and yourself you wish you could work on more. You deserve to not be ridiculed or mistreated for it.


Lupe: Sorry if I got a bit wordy there.

Lex: No! It’s okay like…

Lex: Honestly I kind of need that.

Lex: Like… I dunno. It might still take a bit of time to get comfortable but…

Lex: I’ve never had a therapist tell me anything like that.

Lex: I just want to try figure things out and not get hurt for it, I need to hear something like that….

Lex: There’s so much I’ve wanted to bring up for years but never got a good chance to. Outside of Dotty and Jam there’s nobody else who knows and like…

Lex: They don’t always have answers. Sometimes it can be hard on them. I love them but they got plenty they want to figure out too…

Lex: Jam’s got a lot of respect for you, and Dotty seems to be doing so good with her own stuff. See her drawing every night to sort of help get a lot of her feelings out, and she always seems so much better after talking to her doctor.

Lex: So I guess I wanted to try this again.

Lupe: Absolutely.

Lupe: I’m going to be upfront, I can’t promise you I’ll be the doctor that’s perfect for you…

Lupe: But I’ll do anything I can to make sure you at least have the best environment possible to give this a legitimate chance, to make sure you come out of this feeling like you’ve been treated with the respect you deserve.

Lex: Mm…

Lupe: I’m excited to work with you anyway, Jam’s been fantastic and they’ve told me so much about you. I can tell you’re both so close.

Lex: I mean… you know.

Lupe: More than just in the literal sense.

Lex: Mm…

Lex: Is it alright then that like… we kinda just go over what types of things I want to work on today? Maybe even a bit of some upcoming stuff..

Lupe: As much as we can.

Lex: Thank you…