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A Rancher's Memory: Prelude CW: None Perspective: Dotty Coil Chapter 1
There’s a comfortable familiarity to the old burger shop. It’s a small little local joint within walking distance, making it more than an easy favorite after long days.
The two of you get your usual orders, the typical standard combo you see at any place like this for yourself, and your wonderful rabbit partner insisting on one of her many secret menu wonders that she swears on. You occasionally give things a try, despite your initial fears.
With that said, the mood isn’t entirely there today. She hasn’t said much since you got your food after all.
And what’s a meal between the two of you without a little bit of banter?
Dotty: You’ve been pretty quiet..
Lex: You’re pretty quiet too you know?
Dotty: Yeah, that’s true…
Dotty: Got a lot on my mind lately I guess, you?
Lex: Absolutely.
Dotty: Like…
Dotty: Do you or Jam wanna share first actually? They haven’t spoken to me at all today.
Lex: Jam’s fine, just tired from work. Take the stage.
Dotty: Right.
Dotty: Guess just thinking about how…
Dotty: I dunno, trying to be my own person more.
Lex: I mean you are?
Dotty: Like technically yeah but..
Dotty: Whole reason I’m here’s cause of a life I don’t remember.
Dotty: Lot of rancher units like me got scrapped after going dormant. We did our job and then slowly fizzled..
Dotty: Put a lot of work into waking up what’s left of us and…
Dotty: I got priority because in some other life I’m a hero? Doesn’t feel right I guess.
Dotty: And with the memories sorta coming back more and more, I can see her.
Dotty: I can see here clear as day but like…
Dotty: She’s not me. Not anymore.
Dotty: Even if everything came back, don’t think I could be.
Dotty: She wouldn’t want it anyway, don’t think.
Dotty: She would’ve liked what we have going on.. Being made to fight things people barely understand just…
Dotty: Dying for a future you were never going to see.
Dotty: And just… opportunities you’ll never get living as a weapon.
Dotty: I can feel that… feels like what I have right now’s not something I deserve sometimes.
Dotty: Any one of us could’ve been just as important.
Dotty: Am I overthinking that?
Lex: Don’t think so.
Dotty: Back then she had no idea if she was ever going to see the clear sky ever again… and now I guess just…
Dotty: Here we are, living the life someone never got.
Dotty: Someone who shared the same body.
Lex: You can back out of the program if you want, you know?
Lex: They said you can.
Lex: You don’t really belong to anyone anymore.
Dotty: I know but…
Dotty: I guess part of me hopes that by the end of this I’ll meet her in some way.
Dotty: Think that’s asking a lot?
Lex: Nah. If she shows her face we’ll make sure to give her the proper welcome. Like…
Lex: You never had a problem with me and Jam, right?
Dotty: I mean I got no idea if that’s how it’ll happen.
Lex: Still.
Dotty: Still..
Dotty: Right now the way she exists is more like a feeling. There’s something moving around inside.
Dotty: Seeing all sorts of people long gone, places she used to visit regularly, even just the evening sky… get a rumbling from all that.
Dotty: And I guess sometimes, even just looking at you…
Lex: Really?
Dotty: Yeah like…
Dotty: God this might make this all weird…
Lex: I mean I don’t mind.
Dotty: Guess just..
Dotty: I draw a lot of things I remember in those sketchbooks, you’ve seen them.
Lex: Yeah!
Dotty: And… there’s a rabbit who shows up a ton.
Lex: Yeah, I know the one you’re talking about.
Lex: Guess I’ve been wondering when we’re gonna get to that for awhile.
Dotty: …What do you mean?
Lex: Always seem sad when it comes up I guess so… I figured they had to be someone important.
Dotty: Mm..
Lex: You were close. Like really close.
Dotty: Yeah..
Dotty: Figured it’d be weird but-
Lex: Why? You’re allowed.
Lex: Like, I want to know everything about you.
Lex: And I hope that’s not asking a lot or anything, you don’t gotta but..
Lex: You can trust us, you know?
Dotty: Mm..
Lex: And whatever’ll help you, that’s what we’ll do.
Lex: So like..
Lex: I wouldn’t worry.
Dotty: Right…
Dotty: I guess you just remind that part of me a lot.
Dotty: And it makes me happy, you know?
Dotty: Both who I am now and who I used to be…
Dotty: It’s peace..
Dotty: I guess when I think about it..
Dotty: You really are my life these days, you know?
Lex: Same…
Lex: Wouldn’t want it any other way.
Lex:... Do you wanna go for a walk? Want some air to help me think. Got a lot to say but like..
Lex: I wanna get this right, you know?
Dotty: Yeah. I’m pretty much done. I’ll ask the register for a bag.
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The two of you are able to scramble your gatherings pretty quickly.
The rabbit leads you out, not giving you much conversation til you’re a decent bit away from the restaurant.
Dotty: Everything alright?
Lex: Me? Yeah.
Lex: Just wanted to get in on the weather, you know?
Lex: I’m a sucker for this time of year. Even if it’s always a little weird..
Dotty: Yeah..
Lex: Feels a lot more high pressure though.
Lex: Like…
Lex: Usually run into an excuse to not make the trip over.
Dotty: You get into a lot of fights.
Lex: I’ve been better…
Dotty: You have.
Lex: Can’t promise I won’t this year.
Dotty: I’ll be your tag partner.
Lex: Like always.
Dotty: Mmhmm!
Lex: But uh… I dunno.
Lex: Things ever feel too calm? Like we’ve been doing really good lately.
Lex: Life’s so much better for both of us, right?
Dotty: It has.
Lex: Just… makes me nervous I guess.
Dotty: You been taking your meds?
Lex: Yeah. Therapy’s been good too.
Lex: Adopted a little dude, he’s grown up a lot.
Dotty: Really has, we gotta take him to a vet this month.
Lex: Yeah.
Lex: I’m just not used to this. Lex: Few years ago I looked like a rat, lived alone, couldn’t hold a job, I dunno.
Lex: If I had to see my family like that? Nope.
Dotty: You looked fine and it worked out.
Lex: I was like a 5 on a good day.
Dotty: You were a 9 on a bad day.
Lex: When you say that-
Dotty: Means you always looked good.
Lex: You’re just saying that….
Dotty: Nope, and I’m banning that kind of talk today.
Dotty: We’re married, downplay is illegal.
Lex: Guess that’s fair..
Lex: Between us though? Absolutely not the pretty one.
Dotty: Jam?
Lex: Flexes on everyone.
Dotty: Yeah… I wish I was that cool.
Lex: Same.
Dotty: We’re both pretty close though.
Lex: Maybe, they’ve been cooking something up.
Dotty: You really gotta give them a carrot or something I don’t know if I can take more.
Lex: Really though..
Lex: Can you imagine being married to a rabbit? Must be wild.
Dotty: If only… Your parents know?
Lex: Not yet, honestly think we gotta hold a second wedding so they don’t know we didn’t invite them the first time….
Lex stops for a moment. She gestures toward a detour you’ve been through yourself plenty of times.
Lex: This corner, got a spot I want to check out.
Dotty: Really?
Lex: Yeah. Good to make a trip?
Dotty: With you? Always.
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A detour through evening light..
Your trek takes you through a maze of alleys and streets off the usual path for the two of you, the older more historical buildings preserved and refurbished yet maintaining a certain nostalgic feel.
You are left lost in someone else’s memories.
Dotty: Why are we here?
Lex: Good question. So like..
Lex: Had a little something planned.
Lex: You’ve been showing me a lot of those little sketches.
Dotty: Right.
Lex: And I know you’ve been trying to piece them together. What’s real, what’s not, who these people are, and what’s important out of all of it.
Dotty: Mm..
Lex: And I guess I managed to do just a little research of my own..
Lex: And well…
Lex: There’s a whole lot to unfold but uh..
Lex: You craving dessert?
Dotty: I mean we just ate but…
Dotty: I could go for it..
Dotty: You.. hmm.
Lex: Something wrong?
Dotty: Just thinking I guess.
Being here gives you conflicting feelings, you piece together whatever she’s scheming little by little but…
Dotty: We almost there?
Lex: Yeah!
Lex: So uh..
You’ve been to this place many times in the past.
But..
Lex: Corner.
Dotty: I know.
You stop the rabbit and take lead.
You cling onto her hand
Lex: Hope this was okay, I just..
Lex: Wanted to know I’ve always got your back on all this and..
Lex: Whoever you end up in the end of all this well..
Lex: We love you, you know?
Lex: That’s never going to change.
Dotty: I guess I know one day the dream’s going to end.
Dotty: I’m going to open my eyes,remember it all.
Dotty: And I don’t know who I’m going to be after all that.
Dotty: What name I’ll recognize..
Dotty: My whole personality could change..
Lex: Then let me be there when you wake up.
Lex: And even if you’re different, even if you don’t feel the same..
Lex: I’d care about you just as much.
Lex: Even if we were just friends-
Dotty: That’s never changing.
Dotty: No matter what happens, I’m not letting whoever’s there drop that.
Dotty: But..
Dotty: This kind of talk does make me feel like we’re reaching some kind of endpoint.
Dotty: I think I know it in my gut too.
Lex: We got plenty more left.
Dotty: It feels like they’re happening less these days…
Lex: Things are busy right now like…
Lex: Making a lot of big decisions, you know?
Lex: And like..
Lex: If we slow down for a bit, that’s gonna be okay.
Lex: We got plenty more left in us.
Lex: Even if they’re just mundane little things..
Lex: Life’s worth living.
Dotty: I don’t really want things to be hectic anyway like..
Dotty: Think I’m good on a lot of that.
Dotty: I just.. Don’t want things to feel less exciting for you I guess.
Dotty: Jam too, she there?
Lex: Listening a bit, just tired.
Lex: They’ll tag in for this.. Just…
She leads you through one last gap, up to a little table at the old spot.
A set of cutesy cold desserts that draw the eye in immediately.
Jam: Surprise.
Dotty: Switched pretty smoothly that time…
Jam: Giving her a bit of a break, she’s about to go full sappy.
Jam: Know wordy how that gets..
Dotty: Yeah..
Jam: Can’t let the whole thing melt, you know?
Jam: She’s peeking in too..
Dotty: Thought you needed a break?
Jam: I’m not missing out on this, you kidding?
Jam: Took a bit of work, had to call in some favors..
Jam: Kurt even pitched in. He’s back in town for real this time.
Dotty: Is he?
Jam: Yeah, was on tour overseas helping TCPs situate.
Jam: He’s decided they’re real actually. Strange career paths..
Dotty: We need to hang out proper..
Jam: We dooooo.
Jam: But.. enough of that. Just..
They lean into your shoulder.
Jam: Here to mostly say the same thing.
Jam: No matter what happens with ya’ll, nothin’s changing.
Jam: And I’m making sure we stick together through it all.
Dotty: That serious about it?
Jam: God knows I’ll throw hands if anyone tries to take you from me.
Dotty: Never seen you throw a punch..
Jam: I’ll learn, Lex’ll teach me.
Jam: Owes me a few solids.
Dotty: Yeah?
Jam: Yeah. And right now I’m cashing in on one quick.
They snuggled up to you.
Jam: We’re gonna be taking turns a ton tonight, that okay?
Dotty: Always..
Jam: Good. Right now we just need a day like this I think.
Jam: Remind ourselves of how good we got it.
Jam: Even when money’s tight, even when life’s a mess, we got you.
Jam: And we get to look forward to a lot more of that…
Jam: Love you… don’t really know a way to make it not sound corny but….
Jam: Feels like the point… what makes it so hard for people to say it the first time..
Dotty: We’ll get it right.
Jam: Think so?
Dotty: We’ll get a million changes to perfect that.
Dotty: That’s always something to look forward to.
Jam: Might goof it plenty.
Dotty: That’s fine, part of why I love you too…
Dotty: No matter how many adventures or how much time we got left..
Dotty: As long as I get to see you smile a little everyday, I’m happy..
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