-( T e t h e r e d )-

[SHIVERS]

-( T e t h e r e d )-
#02: Puncture
CW: Blood, self-harm

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The waterfall rushed on.

The river at the peak was briskly swept away, tossed down to crash upon the rocks. 

It pooled in the basin, where it was promptly drawn up into a clear plastic tube and spat out at the top, starting its journey once again.



The plastic waterfall on the filing cabinet broadcasts its trickling sound throughout the dimly-lit office, imbuing the room with a gentle ambience.

A simple desk was set up at the side wall with an outdated computer, sticky notes scattered about. A slightly sunken-in couch sat at the back wall, with a newer, comfy-looking chair just next to it.

A green and white selected sat in a rolling chair at the desk, their tail trailing along the floor to the side. 
The office seemed a bit cramped for such a large species, though they showed no discomfort.

The snake thumbs through a file on the desk, stopping every few moments to place a claw at their mouth, looking thoroughly interested.

A knock interrupts their reading, prompting them to close the file and slide it aside.
They swiveled their chair aside, placing their hands in a relaxed position on the arms of the chair.
"Come in."

The door opens.
A blank body with a bruised leg steps inside and gently shuts the door behind itself.


"Hello there. I'm Doctor Nola Burrey. I understand you don't have a name yet, but that's alright." 
The snake held out a claw to shake.
"No, I don't yet. But I have been thinking on it." They shook.

"Well, that's good to hear.
Please, take a seat." They motioned to the couch and chair nearby.

The figure took a step, then stopped.
"In...?"
"Oh, any spot is fine."

They hesitate, then sit down on the couch; slow and steady.
They kept their legs together, hands laid over each other on their knees, eyes straight ahead.

"I heard about what happened.
You've already been through a lot.
Is your leg feeling any better?"

"It's healing."

"Good."
Nola leaned back.
"I think an introduction would be best, but please let me know if you need me to stop at any point.
You're welcome to ask any questions you like."

They nodded.

"Well, as I said, I'm Doctor Nola Burrey.
You can call be Dr. Burrey, or just Nola, whatever you'd like."


"Pronouns?" The blank body had mimicked the snake's posture.
"She or he, either is fine.
That's very considerate of you to think of that, I appreciate it.

What are your pronouns?
If you aren't sure yet, that's alright."

"...They-them fit just fine."

"I'll make sure and take note."

She took a breath.

"Do you know what you're here for?"
"Therapy."
"Yes, that's part of this.
But I'm also a doctor and a researcher. 
I work here at the university, and just down the road at the labs.

My job right now is to be here if you need anything.
If you get hurt or sick, you can call me.
If you regain any of your memories and want to talk over them, you let me know.
Or even if you're just feeling nervous - or sad, or scared - you can call me anytime.

Does that sound alright?"

Why was it necessary to have someone filling this role?
Am I being treated like a child?

"...Sure."
"I'm glad."

Or... they are all afraid of me.


Still.

"Now, it's been a few days since you came to for the first time."

What do I have to do to prove I am not a threat?

"I'd really just like to know in general how you're feeling."

I am sure I can figure something out.

"So, if you'd like to elaborate on that..."

Just like last time. I'll find something to--

The blank body's eye contact with the wall was broken as the selected gently waved.
"Hm?"
"Is everything alright?"
"I was... thinking."
"What about?"

They fell silent.

Nola breathed in and out.
"You can talk to me. You are allowed to be honest with me."

They looked over to the waterfall.
"...I don't know if I should say what I'm thinking."

He leaned in just a little.
"Anything you say to me is confidential, and will never leave this room unless you say otherwise.
I'm not allowed to tell anyone, it's part of my job."

They didn't turn to look at her.
"Doctor-patient confidentiality?"
"...Yes, exactly."

Their gaze went back to him, staring through the snake.



"You are afraid of me.
Everyone is.
I don't know what I am, but I don't belong.
I am not one of you, clearly.

I don't belong with any of you.
I don't belong in this body, either.
No part of this is correct. 
I am an anomaly, I should not exist here."


"I'm not afraid of you."

Their sight focused on his face.

"Shouldn't you be?" They asked, confused.


She smiled.
"When you arrived here, you saw blank bodies hanging up beside you in storage.
What did you do?"
"I... tried to communicate with them. I thought they were alive."
"Why did you want to communicate with them?"
"...I wanted help."
He nodded.
"And when you were attacked? When you were hit with the bat, how did you respond?"
"I feigned falling unconscious."
"Why?"
"To make the body seem in worse shape than it was."
"In order to...?"
Their eyes opened marginally wider, the figure baffled. 
"To get help, as I said.
I don't understand the point of this line of questioning."
"You tried to communicate. That's the point."
"I don't... this doesn't make sense to me."
"One of your first instincts after appearing in this world - supposedly for the first time, with no prior memories or knowledge - was to communicate.
When you were in a stressful situation, you looked for assistance.
Even when you were met with hostility and violence, you still tried to find help instead of retaliating."
"It was the most advantageous option. It was my best chance. 
That doesn't mean I'm alike to you."
"To me, it shows that you aren't here to hurt anyone.
So I'm not afraid of you."

"...Sure."

"I think we can move past that for now, but we can talk more about it later, if you'd like.
For now, there are some things I'd like to talk over with you.
If there's anything you don't want to talk about, just tell me so, and we'll drop it.
Okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay." The snake shifted in his chair, tail swishing along the floor to re-orient itself.

"I'd like to talk a little about the things you've learned, and how you've learned them."
"Okay."
"When you spoke with some of the doctors before, you mentioned that you didn't know how to speak at first, or what things were, for the most part.
But as you looked around that room, the knowledge seemed to come in gradually.
That, and you seem to be picking up on behaviors and language through mirroring."
"Mirroring?"
She nodded. "What you're doing right now. You shifted your posture to match mine.
Was that unconscious?"
"...No."
"Then you're consciously observing behaviors and trying to mimic what you see, presumably in order to fit in.
With all that, your grasp on Morbitian knowledge, social cues, and the like is ...incredibly advanced, considering the short amount of time you've been here."
"Is that abnormal?"
"Not necessarily, and that leads into what I wanted to bring up next..."

"What we've examined of your condition, and your behavior, is much more consistent to that of someone who's lost their memory rather than, say, a being having been just born or created.
We think, as of now, that this knowledge coming to you is all memories; things you already knew, but are slowly remembering.
Which means you may remember who you used to be, as well."

"Amnesia?"

"Or something like it, yes."

"Then what about this body?"

"Well... you certainly seem to have a disconnect between this body and yourself, in the way you speak about it.
To the point where even looking in a mirror causes you a severe amount of distress.
You don't seem to feel that this body is yours.
Am I correct in saying that?"

They nodded.

"Then, potentially... 'you' - the part of you that makes yourself who you are - became displaced from your original body.
You lost distinct memories, but general knowledge came back quickly. So, it's fair to say the rest of your memory could as well.
At least, that's the theory we currently have."

"You're not certain?"

"No. We've never encountered a phenomenon quite like this before."

"What caused it?"

"We aren't sure about that, either.
We do have theories, but nothing certain as of yet."

"Tell me about the theories."

She inhaled.
"...I'm not sure that's for the best at this time. Not until we're more sure we're on the right track."

They stared.
But I am the one living in this predicament.
I am the one bound to this body.

He continued. "I think it'd be better to use this time more constructively, to focus on you and how you're doing, rather than theorize about the cause of all this.
There's plenty to talk over to make sure you're doing alright, and to teach you about when it comes to your mental health and socializing."

They stared.

"But, I promise you, as soon as we have something more concrete, you'll be the first to know."

I don't know that I believe that.

"...Alright."

She nodded. "Moving along, I have some big news for you today.

Good news."

They tilted their head just barely.

"Starting today, you'll be moving out of the lab.
You'll be living in your own room right here on campus.
We'll still be making sure to have someone come by to check on you periodically, just to make sure you're alright, but you won't be under direct supervision anymore.
It won't be very big, but you'll have your own space to yourself.
We'll be providing you with some fairly rudimentary things that'll be yours to keep."

The selected started counting on their claws. 
"Your own bed, blankets, towels, a phone; things like that.
Yours to keep, and we can provide you with some other things you might need, or even just things you'd like, within reason."

"Within reason?"

"Well, we can't get you a car, for instance.
But public transit is very accessible here in Effigest, we just ask that you let us know if you plan to travel outside of the city.
Beyond that, you can do whatever you'd like.
We even have an opportunity set up for you.
Should you want to, you can start college in the next two weeks."

She raised her claws. "Now, I know this is a lot to take in, so if you don't--"
"I can." They cut her off, leaning forward.

"Really?" He smiled. "Are you excited?"

"Excited?"

"Excited. Are you looking forward to it? Eager to start?"

"I'm..."

What am I feeling?
Am I feeling anything?

"I just want to do it."

"I'm glad to hear.
I think that'll be good for you.
Do you enjoy learning new things?"

"I want to."

"Good.
We'll get that set up, then, and you'll have time to pick your classes out soon."

He looked up at the clock.
They followed her eyes.

"Well, we're running fairly short on time, but I have a couple more questions.
I know it's probably been a lot--"
"Sure." The blank body's thumbclaw pressed into its pointer finger. "You can ask questions."

He was watching their hand. 
"Are you sure?
We can stop if you're feeling stressed.
...Are you stressed?"

"I'm..."

I don't know what I am.
I don't want to think.

"...I don't know. Continue."

"Alright, but tell me if I need to stop."

She shifted in her seat. "Earlier, you told me you didn't belong in this body.
Did you mean that you don't belong around other people because you're in this body?
Or did--"
"I am not... supposed to be in this body." The body grabbed its own arm. "It isn't mine."
He nodded. "Alright, I understand. That's what I thought, but I wanted to check in just to make sure I was interpreting what you said correctly."
They exhaled, pressing their thumb in harder.

"Last question for today, I promise."
They nodded.
"You said you were thinking about a name.
Did you have one you'd like me to try out with you?"

Did I say that?

What was I thinking about?

"I was..."
Their hands began to shake.

It was a name.
I thought about it.
It was in my mind.

"...thinking... 
...about..."
The claw dug in.

It was here somewhere.
Where is it?

"...the...
...the name that...

I was... 

I was...

think..."

I can't think.
I can't think.
It's not here.
Nothing is here.
Nothing--

"Careful!" 
The chair shifted across the carpet, snapping them back into focus.
They found Nola in front of them, holding a tissue against their hand.
Red blood soaked into it, forming a small patch.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were quite that stressed."
Their mouth was open, saying nothing.
The body stared down at its trembling hands.

"Are you alright?"
"Tether."

They met his sight.


"Tether.
For the name.


I can try Tether."