[PCA] REMEDY HOUR

[skinstealer]

[id: a cropped shot of maes' hand holding a white cane handle, surreal but saturated colors mottling the background.]

Today, Maes is looking more upbeat than usual- even sporting a small smile as they hold Charon's hand, waiting for Papaya to welcome the two of them in.

Charon makes sure to give Maes' hand a light squeeze.

Papaya doesn't take long to nudge open the door to their office.

PAPAYA: Sorry to keep you two waiting, just organizing some forms.
MAES: It's fine, Papaya.
 

Maes gives them a nod as they step inside, walking alongside Charon.

MAES: Are you doing well?
PAPAYA: I'd say so. Yourself?
MAES: Judgment and I have been working on things since the last session, and...I feel good today.
MAES: I feel like I can take on something heavy and be okay.
 

Papaya scoots toward their desk with a quick pace, taking a seat.

PAPAYA: Good to see progress there, it's difficult for anyone to share such details about themselves.
MAES: It's been very healing...and gave me an incredible confidence boost.
PAPAYA: Mm, plenty of people find the process very liberating after a point.
MAES: Well...I think I'm ready for more.
MAES: I've talked with Judgment extensively beforehand, and we got a lot of my nerves out.
PAPAYA: About last session?
MAES: Both that, and what I want to talk about today.
PAPAYA: Mm. What's on your mind for this session?
 

They take a seat, still holding onto Charon's hand.

Here goes…

MAES: ...Judgment and I both agree I should start talking about the last few years before Anya died.
PAPAYA: Will you be okay for that?
MAES: Today, yes.
MAES: We'll see if I can do it for subsequent sessions, but...I feel ready.
PAPAYA: Shall I have Judgment prepare the headset then?
MAES: Yes, please.
 

Papaya gestures toward Charon to grab the headpieces. He carefully places them as usual, being extra gentle to avoid feeling intrusive. He sits himself down next to Maes.

Papaya flicks the switch.

PAPAYA: We're going to set the stage, okay?
MAES: Mhm.
 

They nod, getting comfortable.

The room has a disorienting feeling today, revolving around until the clock’s turned back, towards a lab of yesteryear. Familiar conditions fill the air, and there’s noise of scientists long since past, talking amongst themselves outside the room.

I’ve got this. I’ve done this therapy before, and I’ve talked to Charon about this topic.
This’ll be fine.

Maes tenses slightly, but remains still and collected.

MAES: Shall I begin?
PAPAYA: Mmhmm.
PAPAYA: Live when you are.
MAES: I talked vaguely about the modifications I underwent as a teenager, last time- at the very least, the ones to my overall shell.
MAES: I did not talk about my eyes, and I've been hesitant to- namely because of my own feelings on them.
PAPAYA: Mm... that's fully understandable.

...Only one way forward.

MAES: My mother's goal with blinding me was a punishment.
MAES: I don't think she ever even told me what for- it could have been a random anger spell, for all I knew.
MAES: But…
MAES: I refused to see it as one, despite her best efforts.
MAES: I had seen my siblings that didn't receive special treatment manage to get around and survive even after receiving far more debilitating injuries, and I knew that between that and the medical training I had access to, I could make it work.
PAPAYA: I've noticed many of the staff here have access to accessibility tools to help with their workload.
MAES: It was something I made sure to implement as soon as I could convince our staff to go for it, both for my own sake and others'.
MAES: I had some experience with touch script out of necessity for my training under Anya, but that was all she ever provided for me- and I knew I would need more than that.
MAES: Anyone in my situation would.
PAPAYA: Of course, it's understandable.
MAES: It's something I had help with, even then- not to my mother's knowledge, though.
MAES: Being sneaky was...necessary.
PAPAYA: Who helped you back then out of curiosity?
MAES: Synna and...someone who I haven't seen in a long time.
PAPAYA: Mm... is it too personal?
MAES: No, just...I'm still not sure what to make of it.
MAES: They were older than me, but by how much, I couldn't tell.
MAES: I know they worked for Spit, like my mother, but they never seemed too happy about it.
MAES: Whenever I asked them what their deal was, they told me not to worry about it and to focus on getting me the help I needed.
PAPAYA: No name ever given?
MAES: Lina, that was all they gave me.
MAES: If they had a last name, they didn't share.
PAPAYA: Mm... I'm glad you had people around.
 

Nights spent adjusting, learning how to navigate.

The feeling of a stolen white cane in their hand, gliding along the cracked floor tiles and detecting handmade obstacles, Synna cheering them on in a hushed, excited voice.

Reading and learning more and more from books that Lina had brought to the laboratory’s depths, about everything from the culture aboveground, how Precipice handled these disabilities- and the promise that if they just managed to get out of there, it would be okay.

That the world outside, at the very least, the place surrounding the lab, would accept them.
 
All of those treasures and hopes tucked away in a box that Lina found a perfect hiding spot for.

MAES: It was hard, but between the two of them, I was able to do things like practice cane handling, even if the devices themselves were makeshift at best.
MAES: It wasn't perfect, but I wanted some way to help myself.
MAES: I knew I wanted out at some point.
PAPAYA: You managed to avoid getting caught?
MAES: Synna and I had developed ways of communicating to get around my mother's grip for years, and Lina definitely knew what they were doing.
MAES: ...I remember them telling me that they had a hearing impairment themself, and had to figure out strategies for navigating around and communicating with others more effectively while in a similar situation.
MAES: Had issues telling where sounds were coming from, and misheard words a lot...
MAES: I never minded repeating myself, once I got the hang of it.
PAPAYA: There must have been a good amount of solidarity.
MAES: They felt like a real mentor to me.
MAES: Their only request was that I not tell anyone about them, at least not until Anya was dead.
MAES: Even Synna didn't know about them until we reached the surface.
PAPAYA: They sound like a good person, I hope they're doing okay.
MAES: ...I didn't see them for a long time, after Anya died.
MAES: I don't think they were able to come see me safely until years later.
PAPAYA: ...Did you?
MAES: Only once.
MAES: They just walked into my office, no appointment, right before I was about to wrap up.
MAES: I was about to call security before I heard their voice and they introduced themself again after all these years, and I could have cried.
MAES: Nearly did.
PAPAYA: It's good to hear you got to have that.
MAES: Mm...though...I wish I could have done more.
MAES: They said a lot during that visit, more than they probably should have.
PAPAYA: What do you mean?
MAES: ...they told me that they wished they could protect me more, from what retaliation for killing Anya could possibly come from Spit someday...but that it was more likely that they would die before then, and that I should keep an ear to the ground.
MAES: I think...giving me that information was more of a risk than they should have taken.
MAES: I already suspected that action would be taken against me someday, and if it was found out that they said something...
PAPAYA: If you're still here, your friend has kept quiet.
MAES: I'm more worried for their sake...they seemed in rough shape for a lot of our meetings.
PAPAYA: Ah... did this Spit mistreat them?
MAES: More than they wanted to let on, I think.
MAES: They certainly weren't valued like my mother.
PAPAYA: I do hope they'll be okay..
 

They nod, looking solemn.

MAES: I do too…
PAPAYA: At the very least, you've had good people in your life even with everything that's happened.
MAES: Synna and Lina saved my life, frankly.
MAES: I may have been the one to put an end to Anya's reign, but...
MAES: ...they helped me have the resources to get there.
PAPAYA: How about now?
PAPAYA: Who's there these days?
MAES: Synna, Judgment, the entire staff of the rehab program...you too, I suppose.
PAPAYA: I'm just trying to do my best, really.
MAES: Give yourself more credit.
PAPAYA: Just a little.
MAES: You know what I was like when I first walked in, and today I showed up with a smile.
PAPAYA: It's a pretty big difference, never seemed like much of a smiler.
MAES: Until recently, only really around Judgment.
MAES: Synna's been happy to see it as well…
PAPAYA: It's good too to see you've got Synna with you after all this time too.
PAPAYA: You two been reconnecting okay lately?
MAES: We've been having lunch together, the three of us when possible...we might start watching some shows that she managed to find audio descriptions for, as well.
PAPAYA: Sounds fun, what kind?
MAES: Some cartoons that she likes...I've never really seen the appeal myself, but she swears on them.
PAPAYA: Oh really?
PAPAYA: Maybe I'll ask her about them sometime, curious what people watch locally.
MAES: All I know is that it involves giant robots, if that interests you.
PAPAYA: I'm one of those things.
MAES: ...I suppose it would, then.
 

Maes smiles briefly before continuing on.

MAES: ...thank you, for listening to me talk about Lina.
MAES: As you can imagine, this especially can't leave this room...I don't want them getting hurt, not after all they did for me.
PAPAYA: Never heard that name before, your secrets are safe
MAES: I just...
 

They lower their head.

MAES: They seemed to be especially sensitive when I talked about certain things with them, and I think we had more in common than they wanted to let on...
PAPAYA: You were both people in hard situations, only made sense they were inclined toward helping you get out of yours.
MAES: ...sometimes it scared me in ways I hate to admit.
MAES: That maybe this would be my fate for a long, long time, being stuck under my mother’s thumb-
MAES: -but I think that's part of why they helped, in case that did end up the case.
MAES: So that I could cope like they were.
PAPAYA: You managed to avoid that though.
MAES: They got me through it.
MAES: I don't think they ever expected it to...work, you know?
PAPAYA: You did what you had to.
MAES: ..and I'm glad I did.
MAES: I think...I'll save that for the next session, though.
MAES: I want to talk it over with Judgment and Synna…
PAPAYA: Of course, it's your time to use as you feel is fit.
MAES: Thank you.
MAES: Is it okay to end today here, then?
MAES: I don't want to overdo it.
PAPAYA: Mm.
PAPAYA: It's a bit early but if you're feeling tired after that it's okay.
PAPAYA: Any thoughts before we return to neutral state?
MAES: ...do you think I'll ever meet Lina again?
MAES: I know that's not really a question you'd have an answer to, but-
PAPAYA: I can't give a yes or a no if I'm 100% honest but.. I hope you do.
PAPAYA: I think you deserve that.
MAES: I hope that when I do, they're free.
MAES: Just like I ended up.