Crankshaft Memory [Crankshaft Rafflesian Rework}

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THERAPY SESSION: PART 2
CW: Discussion of Medical Abuse and Ableism.

 

 Jam: Yo, Morning.

Lupe: Good morning, see you two have been coordinating your styles a bit.

Jam: You know it, the good ol’ proxy magic goes a long way.

Lupe: I like it, when did you discover this?

Jam: Uh… recently actually. Nothing all that out there but I figure it makes it easier to tell us apart for folks.

Lupe: Mm, I mean you could always tell when it’s you. Voice and expressions are pretty distinct.

Jam: Think so? I mean the first one maybe.

Lupe: It all works pretty well.

Jam: So how’d things go?

Lupe: Good I think, we both said what we needed to for sure.

Jam: Nice, I try not to listen in ‘cause I know Lex is pretty shy about this and it’s hard for her to open up to therapists. Nothing against you at all, we got a complicated history.

Lupe: You mentioned that, I’m sorry it’s been so rough in the past with other doctors…

Jam: Is what it is. Was scared of working with you at first too honestly.

Lupe: Mm, but you came out of your shell overtime.

Jam: Yeah, cause you weren’t weird to me at all like the others. People poked at me like I was a zit, hated that.

Jam: Honestly want to talk about that some if that’s alright.

Lupe: It’s your time, and with what Lex has mentioned I think I have an idea.

Jam: Hmm?

Lupe: The visit with your parents? I know you had a complicated relationship with them.

Jam: Eh… I don’t even know if I consider them my folks. But it was really weird that me existing made them religious panic a bit and anytime I had to cover for Lex it was just… hell? Hell.

Jam: So much love for her but didn’t want to acknowledge me, thought of me as some creature who took their kid’s body. I don’t think they even want to acknowledge that I was a magic thing, acted like I was some imaginary friend.

Lupe: Unfortunately it’s kind of a common thing with this. I’ve known people in your situation who’ve had a similar experience.

Lupe: With the amount of people who casually participate in local practices of the occult variety, too many kids end up growing up under the same circumstances.

Lupe: Folks up to have made attempts to reach out but at the end of the day it’s hard. The climate of this region is one where those of supernatural entity are common but…

Jam: But there’s people who don’t want to touch it the moment it gets complicated.

Jam: It sucks too when you got the same memories. I remember being raised by these people, I lived with these people, and in the end I had to hide for years even from my best friends….

Jam: And I felt bad anytime I came out because it felt like I was stealing from someone else.

Jam: I couldn’t tell anyone who I was or even let the person I shared a body with know I’m real.

Lupe: She didn’t know?

Jam: Not for a bit. I mean I still snuck in but uh… kind of in an embarrassing way?

Lupe: Oh?

Jam: As her… secret admirer.

Jam: I’d leave all sorts of gifts and stuff. Started when one year she kinda just had a rough holiday in late winter.

Lupe: The Appreciation week?

Jam: Yeah. Went nearly the whole week during Freshman year just getting nothing. She didn’t have a lot of friends growing up and she had just moved too so… you know.

Lupe: Mm, that’s always hard.

Jam: I wanted her to have something and… I guess it was really cute seeing her find her locker stuffed with gifts so…

Lupe: Does she know now?

Jam: Yeah, but for awhile well… I felt bad there too. Really shouldn't have in hindsight, think I demonized myself a lot for nothing.

Lupe: It’s hard not to, you grew up with the idea internalized that you don’t really deserve to exist as your own person.

Jam: Yeah… amazing how these days I got so many folks around though. I love them all so much…

Jam: I guess I do want to talk about parental stuff more but…

Lupe: Mm… do you need a breather?

Jam: Yeah, just let me build myself up to it for a sec.

Lupe: No pressure, I know both you and Lex have a lot of thoughts on this all.

Jam: Yeah. Just a moment then.