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Commission Writings [SIDESTORY]
#1
A Thread for Commissioned Writings!
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
"Therapy at Styx" by Comorant
 

THERAPY AT STYX
Styx goes to therapy.

Related Projects: Masa con Papas, Remedy Hour, Crownkiller's Mulligan
Featured Characters: Styx, Papaya
CW: Self Loathing
Author: Comorant
Commissioned by: Marx


 You check the watch you keep in your pocket, pacing in front of the door until the time arrives
You try to be on the minute if you can, even if you’re not looking forward to the appointment ahead.

You can’t believe you were set up for this in the first place, you don’t need to see a doctor…
But if it’ll satisfy him, you’ll tough it out and do this just the one time and hope he never pesters you about this ever again.

The time arrives, you give the door a creek open and take a look.

A construct is situated at a desk, immediately turning their attention toward you.

Their insect-like features are reminiscent of many folks you’ve met across your journeys, though you can’t quite pin them down as anything specific. It doesn’t matter much and you don’t linger on it.

Papaya: Mr. Judgment! Is your friend with you?

Styx: Judgment?

Were they not told in advance? The situation between the two of you is admittedly a little unusual
but you figured Charon would say as much…

Papaya is looking at you with clear confusion on their face.

It’s not a problem, you’ll correct things if need be.

Styx: Mr. Judgment is.. Elsewhere for now. He’ll return after our session.

You approach the desk, nose up high.

Styx: Styx, Castle Lord and The Defiant Entity of Legend.

Papaya: Quite a mouthful there, but I’ll make sure to document it down for the sake of filing. So…

Styx: Mm?

Papaya: I wasn’t informed that this was a case of plurality, how long have you been around?

Styx: The former part is a bit complicated and the latter? Well… that’s a good question I suppose. Longer than this lab at the very least.

Papaya: …I suppose fiendish types do live long. Never came across as that old...

Styx: Just a brief question, Judgment did explain *something* before asking you about this, yes?

Papaya: He wanted to leave you some privacy so… admittedly not as much as I probably should know. But that’s really up to you to clarify details at your comfort level.

Styx: That’s fair enough…

Papaya: Could I get a brief introduction? Also did you do your paperwork in advance?
You pull a few folded up sheets out of your coat pocket and passed them along.

Styx: I certainly did. So…

Styx: I am what some would call an entity, are you familiar with any witchcraft concepts?

Papaya: Very, I’m assuming that in this case you’re being literal when you say that term then?

Styx: Mmhmm. Very much so. I am an actual entity,  all bells and whistles attached.

Papaya: So Mr. Judgment is your host?

Styx: Was… bit of a long story admittedly. We met over a decade ago as part of an unusual collaboration. Things were quite rocky, we fought a good amount-

Papaya: About?

Styx: I mean quite literally, he killed me in the end. Didn’t really stick as you can witness for yourself however.

Papaya is visibly frantically taking notes before continuing.

Papaya: You came back from the dead?

Styx: I’m a bit of a master class in the art of cheating death, he just made it a little harder than usual…

Papaya: Do these issues still arise…?

Styx: No? We cross paths still plenty but we keep to our own spaces mostly. We’re on relatively good terms these days.

Styx: Admittedly it was plenty to work through for both of us.


Papaya: Mm… if it’s not too personal to ask, how exactly did you both encounter each other?

Styx: He was about… 14 I’d say? Had a bit of a large interest in witchcraft, built a radio behind his Grandmother’s back in an attempt to find some advice in his own personal endeavor.

Styx: Asked for quite a bit. To see his future potential, to know the path he needed to take to fulfill his life’s ambitions, but most of all to find from where he came really.

Styx: At the time he didn’t know much about his parents and his Grandmother was often at work. Poor child had a few speculations but nothing concrete.

Styx: Needless to say, I was more than willing to entertain these at the cost of a few local luxuries. And then… it got interesting.

Papaya: Oh?

Styx: An angel intercepted our connection, and I saw a whole other world that could fulfill those desires. So… I took the opportunity and offered him a chance at everything. Power, a throne, to know from where he truly came..

Styx: We bit off more than we could chew to say the least, ended up formative toward both our futures.

Papaya: You spirited away a child?

Styx: The angel would’ve done so either way, I was just a paid chaperone. 


Papaya: Interesting…

You try to peek over at the construct’s notes to little success as they tilt away. 

Styx: What are you writing down?

Papaya: I’m trying to keep track, this is admittedly quite a bit of history to absorb at once.

Papaya: While I chart out the details, let’s go over a few things.

They unfold the questionnaire you handed to them.

Papaya: Voices in your head?

Styx: Since before being an entity I believe.

Papaya: Fear of people reading your mind?

Styx: Frequent.

Papaya: Have you ever been diagnosed by chance for schizoaffective or psychosis related disorders?

Styx: Why would I?

Papaya: Reading through it seems like a good possibility. Have you never seen a psychiatric doctor before?

Styx: You have to understand that I come from the land of four humors. I wasn’t getting diagnosed in any meaningful way in my lifetime. The knowledge needed to deal with my personal conditions was always in the hands of otherworldly beings or the scholars I confided with during my time studying witchcraft.

Papaya: Admittedly, I can relate to that.

Styx: Pardon?

Papaya: A long story of my own, perhaps saved for a future session.

Papaya: I’d refer you to a psychiatrist to look into the possibility of medication to help you with your symptoms but… I take it that it isn’t common for you to be fronting?

Styx: Not these days, I also have no physical form of my own to speak of when interacting outside my realm so… would not be of particular use to me?

Papaya: Difficult, but I’m sure there’s a work around. We’ll get back to that soon enough..

Papaya: You mentioned you were a squire in your brief history page. Were you striving for knighthood?

Styx: For a time. Tried to specialize as a proper man of arms, but when I went in for my blessing I was handed an awful hand. Type 0, Unusual Craftsman, Hearts… one that I tried to ignore until I ultimately shifted toward witchcraft.

Papaya: The Fool, The Path of Most Suffering, the Yearning for Love.

Styx: You’re familiar with this?

Papaya: Very much so, but you can continue.

Styx: My personal belief is that someone with nothing will take a 1% chance further than anyone else. I don’t like to get my hands dirty when it comes to clients, so I simply offer them a mulligan, so to speak. If I solve their problems directly, I become a loaded die and they learn nothing.. If I simply nudge away a few unplayable hands here and there, they’re always in the game. They need to bluff and make good calls on their own but they’re never left without options.

Papaya: And you keep them needing you longer….

Styx:I have to benefit somehow…though those days are long behind me, I’m effectively retired from the business. 


Styx: Better this way.

Papaya: So what do you do now?

Styx: I come and go as needed, at least until I find a new ambition in life.

Styx: No different from an extended vacation.

Papaya: Anything you’re looking to get out of that?

Styx: What do you mean by that?

Papaya: Certainly a bit of an opportunist from what I can tell, no shade intended. I imagine time to yourself would get quite tiresome if there’s nothing else to that. 


Papaya: So?

Styx: Admittedly I make small scale contracts with people here and there. Occasionally get lucky enough to have an exchange with someone from a past life but..

Styx: Such exchanges are very much a rarity.

Styx: There’s many I’ve scorned and many I wish I could apologize to.

Styx: Allies I valued heavily and those who I’ve had to accept as very much temporary in nature.

Styx: Given how my existence operates, it’s pretty much given.

Styx: Some days I even miss old foes and rivals.

Papaya: Foes of what nature?

Styx: Every kind you could imagine.

Styx: Destructive forces who’ve done more their fair share of tragedy to earn their place in hell.

Styx: True equals who force those around them to become their best selves just to keep up.

Styx:Those defined by obsession and will make their last stand memorable at any cost.

Styx: And occasionally we may enjoy a tinge of homoerotic swordplay as an occupational hazard.

Papaya: Ah, so you’re just outright ancient.

Styx: I really do not like to think of myself as such but…

Styx: By even the standards of some gods that may be the case at this point.

Papaya: Anyone you’d consider an equal these days?

Styx: Nobody living, not a single soul.

Papaya: And why’s that?

Styx: Because at my core I’m a sinner without a resolution in sight.

Styx: Anyone I truly deem lower than my current self is absolutely a creature of either pity or disgust.

Styx: And even then the latter I make a point to avoid.

Styx: There’s no place in a good world for other people like myself.

Papaya:... Can you please clarify what that means exactly?

Styx: Hard to explain but in short.. I do not expect to be forgiven for many of the things I’ve done.

Papaya takes a pause before scribbling down something for quite a long time.

It makes you nervous, you’re absolutely being judged here and that’s more than merited.

Doesn’t mean you like this either way.

You start to try and get a word in before they give you a little gesture with their finger.

Styx: Sorry.

Papaya: For?

Styx: I take it the impression I’m giving here is terrible, not that that’s surprising-

Papaya: I’m going to ask you to stop that for a moment.

Styx: Pardon?

Papaya: The amount of self flagellation has to get tiring for you, right?

Papaya: It’s clear you’ve made a lot of hard choices in your time

Papaya: Plenty of regrets and even more the times you’ve hurt others.

Styx: That’s certainly not helping my case I don’t think.

Papaya: I’m not going to be anything less than direct with you.

Papaya: Right now I’m going to ask you something and I’d like you to be honest, as completely as you can be.

Styx: Alright…

Papaya: Do you want to be a better person?

Papaya: Ultimately, what does that mean to you?

Styx: I….

Styx: Mm…

Styx: Could I have a moment?

Papaya: Take your time.

You take a deep breath to gather yourself, to be as precise with what comes next out of your mouth as humanly possible.

Styx: Ultimately… I don’t enjoy being myself. Even now I present myself in the form of a man who I’d consider my superior and successor.

Styx: Someone who given the same hand I was dealt, I believe would make better choices than myself.

Styx: And many of them facing situations more dire than my own handled them gracefully.

Styx: Without fear, without regrets, absolutely brilliantly.

Styx: There’s entire lives that I miss everyday… but I sometimes wonder if it’s the best that they’re no longer around.

Styx: I don’t think they’d have much love for me if they saw me at my worst.

Papaya gets up from their chair to stretch.

Styx: Is everything alright?

Papaya: Mmhmm! Just processing it myself. Want to think things through.

Styx: You can tell me if this case is a bit much…

Papaya: Not at all, just…

Styx: Be honest with me.

Papaya: We’re about 10 minutes past the clock and I’m trying to find a good endpoint here. Don’t mind going over the clock at all, just a bit tricky to end things in the middle.

Your ears droop.

Styx: I apologize…


Papaya: Don’t. Just let me…

The construct starts writing down on the back of some paper, folds it up, and hands it along.

Styx: What’s this?

Papaya: Homework for you. I want you to take note of each time you say something negative about yourself, and come back to me next week with a few qualities you like about yourself.
Could be anything, just something to cling onto and reinforce.

Styx: Why next week?

Papaya: Because that’s your next appointment. Same time a week from now. I’m sure Dr. Artag would be more than willing to give you the opportunity.

Papaya: You’ve got a lot to say, I want to hear more if that’s alright.

Styx: Is that everything?

Papaya: For now. I really do want you to think about everything before the next session.

Styx: Ah….

Papaya: You seem a bit disappointed.

Styx: Assumed there’d be much more than this, a diagnosis at minimum.

Papaya: For now I want to go over things a little more thoroughly, figure out a plan and what method of treatment would be best for you.

Styx: You have to know what’s wrong with me to some degree.

Papaya: You want an early observation?

Styx…. If you could.

Papaya: You have poor self image, compulsive and addictive behaviors, depressive tendencies, some form of dysmorphia, insecurity and guilt regarding intimacy, and you’re neurodivergent.

Styx: Ah….

Papaya: Not putting anything down yet off just one session but… based on what you’ve said and written, these are all plausible diagnoses.

Styx: Mm..

Styx: And that doesn’t scare you off? It’s quite a list-

Papaya: Stop it. There’s no such thing as being too mentally ill to find help. If you sincerely don’t want to return, I can’t stop you from handing things however you see fit but….

Styx: No I…. would like another session I think.

You pocket the square of paper away for later.

Papaya: This time next week?

Styx: If life allows it. Thank you..

Papaya: Let me know if you do need to reschedule. Please try to do the assignment if you can.

Styx: I’ll make my best effort…

Papaya: Good. My number should be there too if you need to discuss things with me after hours, I stay up later than I should admittedly…

Styx: Is that really okay-

Papaya: Yes. Leave a message if I don’t answer, I’ll get back to you when I can.

You give them a nod and get up from your chair.

Papaya: You’re new to this, things are allowed to be messy right now.

Papaya: Just make sure to think on things, we’ll find you something that works.

Styx: Of course. Thank you doctor.

You turn toward the exit, giving the doctor one last look.

Papaya: See you in a week, have a good one til then.

Styx: Mm…

They give you a tiny wave through the pile of notes you’ve left them with.

You’ve sure gotten yourself involved in something… 
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