“Invest now in supernatural self-defense with our brand new Instant Proxy™ kit!
The Instant Proxy™ comes with all the essentials to developing an impressive proxy like clockwork!
Avoid all the prep-work and hassle that comes with the process! Setup can be done in minutes and you'll see results by the end of the hour! No more mixing devilish spices or fishing around a lake of shady eldritch entities!
The Instant Proxy kit comes with:
(2) Canned Potatoes, just add a bit of yourself!
(1) Self-Tuning Angel Radio! No dealing with finding a signal!
(1) A Blank Deck to help you generate form!
(1) Scrap Amp! Power up fast!
(1) Radiation orb, allowing you to use the kit even in the middle of nowhere!
(1) Instruction Booklet in Common, “Spanish”, and Esperanto! (Instructions for how to dismiss a proxy sold separately. Warning! Results may vary!)
Ordering the deluxe edition will also include
(1) Deluxe Scrap Amp for even more power!
(1) Proxy Monitor! Normally quite rare, this tool for tracking and maintaining proxy growth is now at your hands!
(1) Little Buddy! Experts hate him!
Begin your adventure today whether it be to find more success at your job, maintain a loving relationship, fight the dark arts, or just impress your friends! Order now!“
There’s a button on the bottom that seems out of place for some reason…
”Orderable for Trials Reward”
Huh…whoever’s making these webpages knows about the trials, you guess?
…that, or the overseers put this there.
You have a sneaking suspicion it’s the second one. Still…whatever this is, even if it goes over your head, the idea of maintaining loving relationships, fighting whatever the dark arts are, and impressing friends…neat!