[PLAYLIST] DERRY VOL. 1: SHATTERING GROUNDS

1. Freaky Eyes- Oneohtrix Point Never
if you're cold and you can't feel
you might find you've already died
all of these weird objects are reflections of you
and they try to change perception when you're near

starting off derry's playlist with a pretty eerie track...id say this works well for derry's fronting track, if that makes sense? it's a good track for derry wandering around spit's base and going about its daily routine, surrounded by horrible things that it's too dissociated to really comprehend...derry is one of the more active fronters in the system for sure, and would be more familiar with their life outside, and is especially numbed to it thanks to its tendencies to dissociate through pretty much anything. nothing feels quite right and at best things are blurred around the edges...i haven't quite decided if derry deals with outright psychosis yet, but i feel like visual distortions as a result of unfocusing would be a pretty common thing for it. that's what this song makes me think about.

2. Pulling Down Palm Trees- Lauren Bousfield

a more active track, possibly more along the lines of a derry fight track...something not as applicable to it, but not impossible. derry does not fight often, and tend to either freeze up or flee, but i think this works for those kind of tense moments too. i get this sense of it trying to run and get away in this track, though it's vague whether it's from spit, other cultists, headspace monsters, bazil...there could be a lot of things. derry does a lot of running...

3. Medicine- STRFKR
never remember your birthday
or anything you like
sorry so helpless
so help you
anyway you like
take your medicine

derry doesn't really know how to fix its own problems, and yet it's constantly being yelled at by the people around it that it's Wrong and that it needs to get better, though no one offers real guidance in any capacity. it's hard to really explain how this song feeds into that sort of feeling...but that's the feeling.

4. Little Bit- Lykke Li
[cw: suggestive lyrics]

derry may have a little crush...

5. Bite Your Lips- Andrew Applepie

a good track for derry headspace stuff...while the majority of the smiles system headspace is hostile, derry's room is fairly safe unless it's having an outright breakdown, and this feels like pretty chill music for that kind of area. it's a nice bedroom full of comfort objects, though bazil often gives derry shit for having "childish tastes". (spoiler: having blankets and plushes doesnt inherently make you a kid, bazil.)

6. Spores- Andrew Huang
you might as well see hell

a less comforting mental tune for derry, this is definitely a track i'd associate with its less pleasant trains of thought. it's very easy for it to fall into self destructive thinking patterns, and it doesn't take a whole lot for it to get set off into that...especially not when living in spit's base, and dealing with the god herself.

7. The Afternoon- Lemon Demon
oh, the less you hold out
more and more will fold out
live for the afternoon
but oh, the more you grow up
less and less will show up
guess it's gotta blow up soon

this one's a tricky one, and i wasn't sure whether to include it...part of the way derry is harassed by other system members (primarily bazil) is being compared to a child due to its interest in comfort objects and seeking out safety, something that none of the other system members allow themselves to do. it's definitely a grown ass adult and has zero interest in being a child or considered one, but it definitely did split during the system's childhood and did grow up alongside the older splits...and is trying to keep a hold on what little comfort it was able to find before everything went to shit in its home life.

8. Cough Cough- Everything Everything
bad, and it's creeping its way through my windows
and it's slithering under my door
and it's in my peripheral vision
and it's boring up under my floor
and it's whispering into my eardrums
and it's telling me that i want more

so not going with the intended meaning of this track (its a good one, everything everything does good with their tracks) and more going for a brain-moods-y interpretation...this one's on here as a track about derry's self destructive nature and its inability to pull away from that, and how it feels all consuming at times...it gets into its head and refuses to leave, and sometimes it's all it can think about, until it just feels sick. i really wish it could get some therapy and see somebody who could help it feel better about all this, but with working for spit on its plate, that's really not possible.

9. Silent Treatment- Blanck Mass

possibly one of my favorite tracks for derry, to the point of it being somewhat of a theme for it...the chanting feels almost ritual-like in nature, which lines up perfectly with the spit cult associations in derry's past and present, and i always felt like the main vocals in this track were pretty close to derry's ideal dub voice- i'd just want it to be a little lower! there's a sense of desperation and need to escape to this track that i think lies under derry's dissociation and sickness...it just fits.

10. Black Hole Eyes- Watsky
[cw: death, self destruction, violence, Loud]

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